A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My marriage fell apart 8 months ago and I couldn't afford to take care of my 4 kids alone, so my husband has our 3 sons. Our 2 daughters are with me living with my parents. I'm not handling it very well, because I miss my boys and the guilt is doing me in. My middle sons are acting out, since we separated. I havent seen my sons in eight months, because I don't have the money to get to them. Im in one state and they're in another state far far away. I feel like the world's worst mother. I feel as if I'm losing my sons. Please help me adjust.
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female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen +, writes (19 April 2011):
Don't be silly, you are not the world's worst mother. It's perfectly understandable that you feel upset and guilty for not being able to have your sons with you. You feel responsible for the situation you are in. Your sons haven't spent enough time with you or their sisters since the breakdown of your marriage. Remind yourself (and your family) that this is something you are doing out of necessity, not choice. They are still and will always be your sons.
The relationship you have had with your sons in the past has to be remade different to how it was. Try to communicate with them as much as you can. Email them as often as you can or phone. Let them know exactly how you are feeling, that even though you can't be together you love them very much. That is what really matters.
Forgive yourself for being in this situation that is not your ideal. Give yourself and your family time to adjust.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011): You can email them..or even mail..write your heart out and they would understand..
Good luck
:)
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