A
female
age
36-40,
*uteysar
writes:I have been single for over two years now, and Ive rarely dated or anything like that. I always go out at the weekends with my best friend, and she is gorgeous and her personality is attractive too. Im not saying Im not attractive or that I have a bad personality because over the years I have learned to love myself and I am fairly confident. Its just that compared to her, in the eyes of guys, Im not as good as her.Whenever I get talking to a guy, or notice one that I might like to talk to, they see her and dont want to talk to me anymore. Its really getting me down because she has a boyfriend and sees other guys, so its not as if she even needs it! Last night we went out, and we were talking to a group of three guys. After about thirty seconds I realised they were only directing their conversation at her and I was completely left out. This happens pretty much every time we talk to guys.I know youl probably just say "be more confident" but I am confident, and acting more confident hasnt helped me! I dont want to stop hanging out with her because she is my best friend, but my self esteem is taking a battering every single time this happens and I just cant bring myself to even make an effort any more because it never gets me anywhere. I dont really have other close friends I could ask to go out with either. Please help me think of what to do because not only would I love to meet someone, even just casual dating, I would like to stop feeling like the ugly friend all the time.
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best friend, has a boyfriend, self esteem, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): go places with your other freind BUT don,t bring her with you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): She has a boyfriend and sees other guys? Wow, she's Busy;) Anyways, why don't you ask another friend to come along with you? That way if the guys start crowding around her, you and other friend can go to a different area to socialize...
Then how about treating yourself to a total makeover. I think everyone has room for improvement, and it makes you feel good too. Would your friend give you some tips? or someone else you admire? If you're comfortable and confident with the way you are then so be it. take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): 'sinva' is absolutely right, talk to your friend about how you feel, if shes your friend she'll understand and help you, maybe she can even play cupid for you ;)joining a club or gym or something is a great idea. as ive said in a few of my answers, im with our local youth theatre and also do cheerleading (unfortunatly we dont have any boys on our cheerleading squad but oh well) either way its a great way of meeting new people/ making new friends. if you do join a club - even if you dont get a boyfriend there, maybe you can find other people you can go out with. in no way should you stop going out with your friend but it may do you good to go out with a few other people from time to time. though i'm not a big fan of it, how about online dating? 2 of my friends have met their boyfriends that way and are happily in love.well i'm gonna stop 'cause i'm just blabbering on now lolanyway good luck, i hope things work out well for you. good luck. and feel free to message me if you like (even if i am just a teenager and dont know much about dating :P)
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A
male
reader, SinVA  +, writes (7 December 2008):
If she is your best friend, let her know how you feel, and hopefully, since she has a boyfriend, she'll play almost as your 'wingman' and steer conversation toward you. It might be that she doesn't understand how you really feel.
Get involved in activities. Instead of only going out with her, start doing things on your own. Join a club, pick up a sport, hit the gym, something that gets you out of the house where you can meet others who share similar interests. I'm not saying stop hanging out with your friend, but dont ONLY be around her if she makes you feel bad.
Good luck, hope that helps
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