A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK I've really screwed up.I've been semi-flirting with one of my male friends (Ant) for a while, and he ended up asking me out for a drink the other night. I told him sure, why not - that sounds lovely.The trouble is I've just realised that I only have luke-warm feelings for Ant compared with how I feel about one of my other male friends, Dec. Oh dear... I feel such a fool for misleading Ant and I have no idea how to let him down without hurting his feelings!Any advice would be greatly appreciated.Sincerely,Gossamer Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): You can't let him down without hurting his feelings, you never can let someone down who likes you without hurting their feelings it doesn't work like that.
You can however let him down gently and the only way to do that is to do it soon. The longer you leave this the more hurt he will be, the longer you chicken out of telling him that you don't like him in that way the more you let him get his hopes up and the worse it will be for him.
So the next chance you get, sit down with him and talk to him. Tell him he's a lovely guy but you have feelings for someone else, basically just tell him the truth. This is one of those situations where the truth will cause the least amount of pain. He'll understand, he'll respect you for your honesty and while he'll be disappointed he won't be devastated or angry because you were honest. You can't help who like OP, it sucks for him but it's not him, he'll get over it but the longer you leave this the worse it will get. Do it as soon as possible.
Don't beat yourself up about flirting with him etc. It happens but make the situation right as soon as you can and everything will be fine.
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