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I feel like my wife is providing absolutely nothing to this marriage

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Question - (24 January 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 January 2016)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am not happy anymore

IMy wife and i have been together for almost 6years, married for 1. Ever since we moved in together a few months before our wedding everything has gone downhill.

I feel like a child and she is my mother most of the time. I pay for the following: my personal bills(like car, phone, erc), Rent, Electric, Heat, Cable, Internet, All groceries. She went to school for a nice degree but refused to look for a job, she now works for $10/hr and barely can afford her car and student loans.

I would be fine paying for everything if she handled most of the chores to help out, but no. My chores are: dishes, vacuum, clean bathroom/kitchen, let the dog out( and I mean in an entire month she takes the dog out maybe twice, literally.) her chores are: laundry. When I take a day off and relax she freaks out and yells at me about nothing getting done.

Her hobby is going to the gym all the time, it's fine, I support her hobby and never complain at all if she wants to go to the gym, I'll ask when she thinks she will get back then I do my own thing until then. My hobby is PC games, if I go play a game for an hour or so with my friends she will come in and complain "are you done yet" "can you stop soon"

I just feel like she's providing absolutely nothing to this relationship, enjoying life with no chores and no worries about money because it's all on my shoulders. I know that a lot of this is my own fault for letting it get this far but idk what to do or what to say. We were great but I think if nothing changes we will be over by the end of the year.

View related questions: money, moved in, wedding

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2016):

Talk to her. You need to tell her how seriously this is affecting your feelings for her.

Prediction: She still won't change.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (24 January 2016):

Honeypie agony auntYou need to sit her down and renegotiate the chores and the "free time" hobby thing.

Set aside time for hobbies - not just hers. And be clear with it. One thing with gaming though, it's easy to get caught up and not notice how the time flies. I know I play several online MMOs when I find the time.

Who's dog is it? Was it yours before marriage or hers? Or did you get it together? IF you got it together THAT needs to be included i the chores.

I DO NOT agree that because you pay more bills you should do less chores, BUT I do agree that if she ISN'T contributing much to the shared home/bill AND chores she needs to step it up.

Unless you can have this conversation with her NOTHING will change.

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