A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have posted on here a lot in the past, and I am posting again because I need some help, or words of courage.My ex of one year and I broke up. It was mainly because I was going to the Marines Reserves. I gave that dream up so that she would be happy, and it just went south. We argued a lot, and it was awful. She slept with her boss after we broke up, and then went back to her baby's daddy. Speaking of her baby, he was two and was crazy about me. He loved me and called me daddy all of the time. Anyway, the baby daddy had his 3rd woman pregnant, and she went back to him. Soon after the baby was born, she called me, and we tried to work things out. I would only hear from her once maybe twice a day if lucky. She got married to a guy in the Navy less than 5 months after everything ended. He had begged to be with her (previous ex of a month), and she always told him no, that she loved me. He was her baby's daddy's best friend.This doesn't seem like the girl I knew. It eats at me every day. I dream about it. I can't eat sometimes. The worst part is, it has been about a year and 3 months since we broke up. I have such a hard time with it, and the fact is, I am dying on the inside. I beg God to take it away, and fact of the matter is, I don't know why I struggle with it. She wasn't my first love. I have slept with 6 women and dated several since then. I am a very attractive man! Something about her just makes me want her. Why? I feel like she is the love of my life, and she felt that way too. What do I do. Yes, I can forgive the past. I would give anything for a future with her. I know that this marriage won't last long. Please help. What do I do? I do feel like my soulmate is at the wrong place. I need your help Agony Aunts, and please don't scald me. I am having such a hard time.
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female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (29 November 2013):
 People come into our lives for a reason, a chance to learn something and grow from these experiences. It is good that you are confronting the pain head on, but what lies deeper than the pain is the lesson. What have you learned from her (about yourself)? What do you still need to learn? She is just a representation of your core issues. If you want to heal and move on, I would recommend that you find a good therapist and talk it out, figure out why she still has that hold over you. Could it be linked to a childhood issue? Could it be that you feel like you've failed her somehow? Could it be something else? That's for you to figure out with your therapist.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2013): Your youth is making you obsess over a girl who makes poor decisions and sounds like a those people on those awful daytime talk shows. They bring these poor uneducated people on who fight and expose their private lives while the audience cheer and look down on them. That's what her life sounds much like. You also make poor decision. You let go of the opportunity to grow as a man and serve your country.You would have also gotten the money for an education.You created a lot of fantasy around that girl, thinking you were some sort of hero saving her from herself. Now you are stuck fixated on her memory. Some people take a while to get over someone they've lost. You're one of them.It is sad that you gave up an opportunity for her. You can't disrupt your future and advancement centered solely on some dysfunctional relationship. You need to face your manhood, grow up, and get an education to get you out of that soap opera life you're living.You never ventured out of where you live. So you're stuck in Smallville. You need an education to expand your mind, and adventure to broaden your outlook. You need experience and enlightenment. You need skills to build your confidence and awareness.Enroll in a trade-school or college. Start creating your future and you'll mature past all this drama that is holding you back from maturity.
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