A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After my boyfriend and I broke up, I sought out a rebound, and the guy that presented himself to me was a 32 year old unemployed cocaine addict with a kid. I am 20 years old, from an upper-middle class professional family, in college, working full-time, paying a mortgage on my own, and this whole situation seemed crazy to me. Like I was in a television show. But I agreed to go for coffee with him, out of boredom and maybe mild interest. One thing led to another, and soon we were having amazing sex every night. The thing is, I want to go back to my boyfriend, because I know that this guy that I'm seeing now is just bad news. But I can't even talk to him to tell him that we need to stop seeing each other, because he is in rehab for the next month. And even so, I don't know if I'll ever stop thinking about and wanting sex from this coke addict. I just really don't know how to deal with any of this. It's all so foreign to me. Everyone is putting pressure on me to get away from this guy, and they're right. But this is the first time in my life I've ever enjoyed sex, and not felt dirty, or wrong, or guilty afterwards. I know what I really need to do, and I know what matters more. It's just going to be very hard to not think about him.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 November 2013):
 you want to go back to your boyfriend... why?
does your boyfriend want you back?
use this time the addict is in rehab to detach from him..
after 28 days of no contact it should be easy to continue
besides part of recovery is NO RELATIONSHIPS for a year.... if he is truly working his recovery he will happily accept your decision. if he does not, he's not working his recovery properly and will fail.
do you really at 20 want to be tied to an addict?
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 November 2013):
I don't know what exactly happened that made the sex great, but why don't you learn from it? You don't need to force yourself to stop thinking about it, but you do need to stop seeing him.
You can fantasize if you want, there's no harm in that. And the next time you have sex, try to create that same passion.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2013): Aren't you doing the same "dirty wrong guilty" sexual things with this coke addict as with your BF?
Unless your sex life with the addict is doing all different acts than with anyone else before, then its no different. You are just making a decision in your head that you should feel guilty about doing that stuff with someone who makes a decent partner, but its fine when you do it with a loser. I suggest you change that decision.
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