A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:It's really hard to ask for help because I am aware of how crazy this all sounds to someone hearing it and not involved but I ask that you keep an open mind and I will tell only the facts:-DEC'08 I broke up with my ex because although I still had feelings for him I felt that we wanted different things from life and I couldn't see a future-JAN'09 I set up an account on the online set we first met and where he still had an active account. - I saw that he viewed my profile-the day after he viewed my profile I was contacted by a user who's online name was lookin4myfishie and he had the same astrological sign and hair color as my ex. I was intrigued so I started talking to him via emails. he started dropping hints so i suspected it was him and i confronted him and soon after he disappeared.- a couple of months later another user contacted me. we started talking, he was nice, i thought nothing, then he started saying things like i promise to love you and when i told him the song he sent me made me blush, he would say "really, what are you gonna do when i ask you to marry me?". i thought that was weird since we had never met. we sometimes talked on the phone ( on the phone he was a lot more polite and less intense)and he started to tell me the story about his ex which sounded a lot alike my ex's brother's story and when i told him about my ex he started to advise me and give me insight as if he knew exactly what he was talking about and he knew the guy personally. I was suspicious then but i wasn't sure until one day i called him and instead of the guy i had been talking to I heard my ex's voice say 'hey you'( hey you is something my ex ALWAYS used to say to me and i had been with him for over 2 years, I know his voice VERY well)....I froze and just said pardon? this is when i heard shuffling with the phone and the guy i normally talked to started laughing and said haha, oops , sorry. - i confronted him and he just disappeared.- other suspicious users contacted me but I am not certain so I won't mention them-I kept getting offline messages from my ex with odd links which I kept ignoring and not clicking on them-Sept'09 my ex calls me to say that he thinks I am a great girl and he tried to move into my building but couldn't because of his dog so he moved into the building across the street from me- I started getting offline messages from people on my msn list whom I had not talked to in a looong time with the same links he had tried to send me....I did not click on these either-june'10 we started talking again after I finished school(I was hoping that all that nonsense was because he was interested and regretted losing me and wanted to get back together).........-one day he said I hope I haven't driven you crazy-aug'10 i felt like he was just stringing me along and i broke our friendship saying "if you don't have any feelings for me then we need to part ways because staying friends with you hurts me too much, I can't have you in my life without having you IN my life.Weird things have been happening lately and I feel like I am losing it.....people getting blocked on my msn list who I DID NOT block and emails disappearing............I have a strong feeling that something weird is happening............am I crazy? has he pushed me too far? what should I do? I have deleted and blocked him everywhere but i feel like i need answers, i need to know why this is happening and why??Thank you all so much!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ven  +, writes (8 November 2010):
START LOGGING EVERY CONVERSATION YOU HAVE WITH HIM AND PEOPLE YOU MEET ONLINE.
He is stalking you. It isn't safe for you, and it definitely isn't healthy for him. Breaking off the friendshipwas a good idea. If you think e-mails are getting deleted, start a new account. Create a password randomly, not from any reference to your life. brute-forcing accounts (programs that guess until they find it) is far easier than most people realize, so make up a good password!
If he does not leave you alone, contact law enforcement. At the very least they are made aware of the situation. In many cases, they may choose to contact him and let him know that consequences are bad for people who stalk other people. Once they realize how serious their actions are being taken, casual stalkers will to their best to never think of you again.
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