A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Here's my situation. My boyfriend has been helping his female friend for the past week or so because she is going through a break up and child custody issues. Which is fine except I feel like he's crossing boundaries a little bit. He's been talking to her everyday. He gave her his facebook and phone number and told her if she ever needed anything or wanted to talk to just contact him at any time. She was texting with him for over 2 hours last night about her problems. He was also at her house very late last night with some friends and didn't text me that he was home til like 3 AM. I'm sort of feeling anxious I guess, I may be over reacting I just feel like he's crossing the line with her. He's not the cheating type as far as I'm concerned, I just don't like the idea of him being so emotionally supportive to someone else like that. Do I have a right to be concerned?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015): Yup I would also be concerned and he has over stepped a mark. He must like playing the hero and feeling needed by a woman in distress. This can EASILY lead to more as she will see him as her shoulder to cry on. Call me old fashioned but a man, or woman, in a relationship should not be consoling barely known "friends" of the opposite sex. I say "friends" because she obviously wasn't a close friend before if she didn't have his Facebook or phone number...
If he can't see the inappropriate levels of this then he can't be ready for a relationship x
A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (8 May 2015):
 Why not offer your support to this female friend of his?
Something I've learned from my boyfriend is that when a friend (male or female) needs his support, that he really appreciates it if I care as well. It can be simply asking if there's anything you can do, such as comfort foods, girl talks with his friend, helping with chores, babysitting, etc
Work together as a TEAM with your boyfriend in supporting her. This way, not only are you helping out his friend, you're also supporting your boyfriend, plus you will be there with them. I really think your boyfriend will appreciate that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 May 2015):
 I think unless he has PREVIOUS experience in these matter, or he knows how custody issues work, HE can't really help her PAST being a shoulder to cry on. And THAT can easily lead to comfort and whoops...
Now HE may JUST be a GOOD friend. He may not even think of her THAT way, but I will say it if seems to get out of hand I'd tell him that maybe she should talk to Child Services (they can provide her legal help) or her parents...
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (8 May 2015):
 I agree with you. It should be another friend who should support her, one who's not in another relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 May 2015):
 Yes I would be concerned if I was you, if this lady needs help she should be talking to a counsellor.
Trust your gut feeling, and since you are posting here, your gut is telling you something is off. I would hazard to say that at best he is having an Emotional Affair with her, however it could already have progressed to a physical affair.
Sit him down and tell him how you feel. His reaction to your conversation will be your answer.
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