A
male
age
41-50,
*_n_o_n_y_m_o_u_s
writes:Here's my problem:I moved from one country to another nearly 10 years ago. I haven't seen nor talked to my old friends who stayed back there for all this time cause there hasn't been a way to do it.Among them was my first love ever - we had no relations with her back there, I just made a declaration of love and she never answered me what she felt about me.Now, after all this years I found her through one of the social networks. I have no words to describe how happy I was about it!She's grown to be a truly beautiful girl, and after we talked for a while I learned that she shares my interests, hobbies, and even have the same occupation as me. She's still single too.And now I feel really depressed - suddenly I feel like I've never stopped loving her. And it really pains me to think, that we will never meet again. Now I'm kinda developed a dependence on her messages - if I write her and not receiving a reply I'm starting to feel frustrated...Yeah, I know - when I moved from my old country to another we were just a teenagers. But I was unable to stop thinking about her for all this years, till now she's the only one that I ever truly loved (and I fear - still loving).I really don't know what to do but it really threw me off the track...May be someone have an advice or felt something similar?
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reader, A_n_o_n_y_m_o_u_s +, writes (25 March 2008):
A_n_o_n_y_m_o_u_s is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I think it's the only way after all. I just fear the things will get even more complicated than they are now. But I can't see any other solution.
A
male
reader, A_n_o_n_y_m_o_u_s +, writes (25 March 2008):
A_n_o_n_y_m_o_u_s is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just wanted to add something:
I'm not a romantic and emotional person, I've always been cynical, practical, realistic kind of a man. Maybe even harsh. But always optimistic and cheerful. But suddenly, after I "met" her again, I caught myself wishing to cry like some teenage girl because of all the frustration I feel. I feel a deep despair and think that I've lost my last chance many years ago...
Maybe it's not even love that I feel but a paroxysm of selfishness or something? Anyway, I feel absolutely lost lately, like all have lost it's meaning...
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A
male
reader, A_n_o_n_y_m_o_u_s +, writes (25 March 2008):
A_n_o_n_y_m_o_u_s is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI made some very cautious and gently hints but it was unsuccessful - may be she didn't understood it or simply avoided answering it.
But it's obvious that after not seeing me for 10 years she wouldn't feel too much for me now even if she felt something once. She even didn't recognized my voice when I called her.
What we have now is a friendship, it really strange though - we talking about some personal stuff as well and I feel like she's the one I can tell everything straight to (except for some things).
So in one hand, I don't want to ruin what we have now (a friendship, a strange one but still a friendship) so I'm avoiding talking to her about feelings I have 'cause it won't change anything and I don't want to burden her with my feelings and I don't want her to stop talking to me. In the other hand - I can't stop feeling frustrated and depressed every time I'm talking to her 'cause whatever I'm doing won't bring us together...
I meet with many different people on a daily basis, I've had several girlfriends over the years but I never loved anyone. I don't know, it feels like I'm totally obsessed with her. I just can't think of anyone better than her...
I have a severe mental illness, right? :)
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A
male
reader, A_n_o_n_y_m_o_u_s +, writes (25 March 2008):
A_n_o_n_y_m_o_u_s is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all thank you for your answer.I would like to explain a situation a little better:yes, we live really far from each other. And now, when we all grown up it's much more complicated than before - I don't really want to go back and live there, I enjoy living in a place I'm now and actually it's much better country than one she's living in. At least, we have democracy here :)I have a good and well paid job, the same goes for her as well. I don't think she would like to leave her country - yes, it's not the best place on Earth but to move to another country means you must learn another language first and much more complicated things.And after all of this - I fear I'm the one feeling love for her, not the other way around. She always was my friend but never showed a sign that she feels something more than this for me. But I can't even try now to get her to love me because of the distance between us. She's the best person I ever known. I want to be with her so much but it all so complicated now...
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