A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: i left my wife 2 yrs ago after a long marriage that went wrong and met up with a girl i had gone out with 18 yrs earlier , she is a lovely girl but took alot of flac from my mood swings after me trying to get over the marriage. She then caught me having an affair whilst she was 8 mts pregnant and although she accepted me back and we had a beautiful son , she caught me again as i had not finished the affair , six months on it is only dawning on me how cruel i have been and i would dearly love to get back with her and my son but incredibly i am still seeing the girl i cheated on her with. I don't seem to be able to finish with this girl as i am afraid of being left on my own. I know i sound like a complete waste of space but i really need some direction as i feel i am wrecking everyones life. this week my partner told me to finish with the girl and she may or may not take me back .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): OMG what a idiot, you have to try win her back, lots and lots of sucking up and maybe if you are the luckiest man alive she will consider giving it a go with you. But go for it if it works out it could be the best thing you ever done for you your child and your childs mother but be warned its going to be tough to win her back after what you have done.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): It sounds like you have made a right mess of things . You must have broken your partners heart when she was pregnant , i have two children and i know how difficult it is even with a partner to share the changes a new baby brings .You don't love either of these women and looks like you are as you said scared to be alone.If i was your ex partner i would run a mile and never look back.You now need to concentrate on being a good father and role model to your child.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 Well, I think this happens a lot when a person goes from one relationship into another, before being really over the first one.
If you keep seeing the girls on the side, YOU will at one point or another end up alone. Eventually even she will have enough of being "the one on the side".
You ARE being selfish.
TIME for you to SHIT or get of the pot. Figure out WHAT you want and go for it. Hopefully, the woman you WANT to be with will still want to be with you. If not, well, that is entirely your own fault.
Own your actions, you are a grown man, not some hormonally crazed teenager who can't stop thinking with his dick!
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 Let go of this other girl. The one you cheated with. Let her go and let your partner make her decision. If you break it off with the other girl, your partner will see that you are actually willing to change.
I suppose you could ask yourself why you are truly with this other girl anyway. What is it all for? Are you not alone now?
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 November 2010):
 Wow you really are a gluten for punishment arent you, you were really lucky for your girlfriend to forgive you when she was 8 months pregnant if that was me i would have kicked you out by your backside and told you never to come near me again, the stress that was put on her so close to child birth is unforgivable in my eyes, but she forgave you and you should have had the decency then to stop this affair and be thankful that you still had your girlfriend and your little son, you should have been the happiest man on the planet but no you decided to carry on the affair until you were caught again. Do you blame her for not wanting to be with you? Switch things around and ask yourself how you would have felt if when she was 8 months pregnant with your child you found out she was cheating on you, i bet you wouldnt feel nice at all would you?
Ok so the thing here is if you want your girlfriend and son to be with you as a family then you need to stop being selfish and put them first for once, finish things with this girl tell her you are sorry but you have made a huge mistake and now you need to start making it up to your son and his mother, tell her that you need to cut all contact with her and keep to your word.
Meet up with the mother of your child and tell her that you have finished things with the other girl and that you want to be part of your sons life, tell her that you know she needs time to learn to trust you again, and show her how much you are sorry, treat her like a princess, buy her nice presents, show her you love her, be affectionate, help her with the baby, help her with the house work, basically you have some sucking up to do to prove to her that you are worth it.
If she doesnt take you back straight away and you are left on your own for a while well all i can say is deal with it and learn from your mistakes in life.
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