A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, my problem is this. I think i have some sort of social disorder. I've been thinking of getting a job but just the thought of having to interact with another human being just simply scares the life out of me. On top of that i have no friends ever since i left school and it's been months since i had a normal conversation with another human being. I'm now afraid of going out and this is partly because of not being allowed out by mum during my younger years when i had confidence in myself and wanted to go out with my friends. I feel like i've wasted my whole life and now that im 18 i feel old and that im no longer youthful. My mum keeps encouraging me to go out and mix with other people but i pay her no attention and usually just end up ignoring and brushing off her efforts to cheer me up. I go to bed in the early hours of the morning (5am) and wake up at a similar time in the evening. When i wake i dont eat anything and over the past few weeks i've lost a fair bit of weight which doesn't help the fact that im already underweight for someone my age, which is anothe reason why im very insecure and never want to leave my house. I dont have a close relationship with anyone in my life and i now i think about it the only time i was truly happy was when i was living in Africa as a child. Just looking at other people enjoying relationships and friendships with other just fills me with rage, jealousy, envy, despair and a whole load of other emotions that i dont even know how to explain. It gets so bad that sometimes i feel as if my brain is literally going to explode with pain and hurt. I thought i cope with it because i'm very reluctant to seek help but now it's just driving me insane. Please help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): There's bound to be a free youth counselling service in your area. You can find them on your own or arrange something through your GP. Is there any reason you're not comfortable going to your GP? You should be able to go to him about anything. If there's some reason you can't talk to him, then find one you're more comfortable with.
If you definitely don't want to talk to him about it, then you can at least phone and ask about free counselling services in your area. They're the people who will know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): I agree w other replies.It sounds like social phobia, if you cant aford therapy just go to doctor to figure out some kind of med that suits your case so it can balance the chemicals of your brain, i took antidepressants, and it helped me a lot! I've been there, life was passing by, and i seemed powerless. I just thought i didnt fit anywhere, with anybody, no one could get me, the conversations people have just seemed nonsense to me (still does sometimes). Now days, i think that i was mostly scared to face life, sometimes you dont even try so scared you are to fail. Of course i mean it in a unconscious way. You know, there is a quote that i read another day that say it all "the only prison there is is fear, and the true freedom is not to fear anymore". Just think this way, when you sabotage yourself, when you find a million reasons not to do something, or not to go somewhere, say to yourself, the only thing that is keepning you from living is fear. Then you are aware of that. Than make a promiss to yourself, that even though you are scared of something, you are gonna do it anyway. And do it. Doesnt matter if you fail, if you get embarrased, what other people think... just experience life on its fullest.You'll see its worth it. Its a everyday work (i still feel the same, i just dont let fear keep me from doing anything), but you can do it. Once you understand that what people (including you) think about you doesnt mean its the truth, they r just thoughts, you get desattached to any kind of restrain.
ps. im 25 now, and although i dont have a very exciting social life, i can cope w that. Its a everyday learning, as my social skills didnt come naturally, i pay attention how people interact, what they say, i do some experimentations of my own... the trick is not to take yourself nor other too serious, not being afraid of what people are gonna think of you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all who gave advice. What can i do if i cant afford therapy?? Plus i'm really not too keen on going to my GP
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Social phobia plus clinical depression...you need to seek urgent treatment from your GP. You are young and there is plenty of help out there if you ask for it. Pick up the phone and ring MIND for a chat on their helpline as a first step - find out about support groups in your area. Stop staying up late and start a proper sleep routine as your mood won't be helped by lack of sunlight. You need to try cognitive behavioural therapy and make a plan of action to improve your life in very small steps. As you improve, you should start doing some volunteer work to build your confidence and ability to deal with people (just an hour or two per week to start).
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): I think you need to see professional help too. You're still young, so you haven't wasted your life. You still have your whole life ahead of you.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2009):
I think you need to be brave and seeks some proffesional help, because it sounds like you might be suffering from depression. I felt the same way as you some time back. I'd not done well with some exams, so had to change direction in my life and it was hard. But you will get there. You're still 18, and there is plenty of time for you to make something of your life, so relax a little. But I think you should seek help because there might be a lot you need to talk about, and only a proffesional can really help you. Don't be afraid to talk. All the best,
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