A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24 and I've been looking for love since I was 16 and yet to find it..as I get closer to 25 I have just become numb and even more depressed. I have always been a sad woman. I am getting older and soon guys are going to start to want girls younger than me. I haven't even found me anybody yet. I want to find somebody but I resent the fact that it hasn't happened for me sooner. I always wanted to be 19/20/21 and in love for the first time...I don't like the idea that I'll be 25+ and JUST finding love. I don't like the label of a late bloomer. It implies that something is wrong with me. Even my mother says that she gets depressed seeing me without a man through all of my young yearsI don't have much experience sexually or relationship wise with men. This is very painful to me. I have gotten so sensitive that if I am around my peers hearing them talk about their relationships and sex life...I have to get up and leave or else I'll just burst into tears or get very agitated. This happened recently in class, and I abruptly got up and went to the restroom and stayed there for 15 minutes to have peace and cry. I just cannot tolerate hearing my peers talk about their love lives it just makes all the pain and lonliness surface.I went to the mall with my mom, niece and nephew, we took them trick or treating. After about 30 minutes or more of being that I became so emotionally drained and vacant. I wanted to go home. I saw so many people in my age group with children and coupled up. My mother didn't know what was wrong with me. My mood just changed. I became very withdrawn and unhappy. If I go somewhere, I'm fine for about 30-45 minutes before sadness starts to surface..then I want to go home and in my room for peace. I just cannot bare to witness seeing so many of my peers easily fall into relationships and build families..I can't take it. I feel like I have no use. That I am no good to any man if I am just single and wasting space like thisI wish I could feel better about myself but I can't. I even distanced myself away from a friend. The jealousy of seeing them enter committed relationships while I struggled to find love was too much to bear. I rather not see it.
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male
reader, toddybad  +, writes (12 November 2008):
You know, te more you think about this the lower and lower you'll feel. it can be hard when you're single and everybody else seems to have partners. it can feel awful when its been this way for a while. the thing is you've probably got really low self esteem at the moment and you seem to be desperate to find a boyfriend a feel love. dont worry about you age - love feels amazing whatever your age. i think the best thing to do would be to change you social scene - join some clubs or classes or whatever you have to do to meet new people. dont look for love - look for friends. when you find a male friend who you get close to the chances are you'll both start to really like each other and something might happen there - a much safer and easier way to find love than searching for it straight out. you're doing nothing wrong at all i know its hard but itll happen naturally - also if you find a new social life youll gain confidence becasue you wont feel that everubody you know sees you as single which is another feeling you can easily have. good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): Don't give up! Even if you don't have a high self esteem, pretend you do, because that's what guys find attractive. It could be the fact that you show how bothered you are about being single that puts guys off you so try to be confident. You say that guys want to date people younger than you, but a lot of people don't start a major relationship until their twenties or thirties so it's not too late. Look for somebody older than you. It's the person inside that counts, but you need a first impression to get them hooked. Act more confident and you'll get a guy, and then let him see the real you, and he'll want to keep you if you are a loving and caring person. People in your situation often end up with a partner who's been in a similar one, so look for people you can relate to.
Best wishes, good luck boyfriend hunting =]
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