A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a diagnosis of depression and anxiety. I have a boyfriend of six years. He is wonderful and looks after me well. However, whenever he goes away for the day with mates I get so insecure, anxious and uneasy. I don't want to stop him doing the things he wants but I know he can sense the change in my mood and behaviour around the time of him going. I feel like I need him there to feel ok. It's hard to keep myself busy when he's gone too, as the depression makes me too exhausted to do anything I would do if I didn't have it and I don't have much interest in what I used to enjoy anymore. Any advice on how I can make that time feel like it has whizzed by?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2014): Unfortunately I think this is beyond our scope of expertise (due to the lack thereof).
You've been diagnosed with some serious mental health issues that are lowering the quality of your life and you need more help than we can offer.
Time to head back to your therapist and discuss with them. If you don't have one then it's time to get one. Whatever treatment you're currently pursuing is not working as intended or perhaps it's one that will take time to kick in. Either way you need professional help to deal with these issues.
There's not a lot we can suggest, the only thing I can think of is to start doing your own thing when he's not gone away.
Go out on your own for the day, if that's too much for you then just go slower. Walk the dogs on your own for 30 minutes, or just go for a cycle etc.
Create habits of independence even when he is around, maybe making the choice to be away from him for a few hours or a day may empower you to feel less abandoned when he is.
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