A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl when I was 16 (young, I know) and well we were friends for a year, then after realizing our feelings as more than friends we dated for 2 years. She left me in a complicated process for another guy whom she had liked before she met me, and he was more popular than me. They ended up dating for a week and he cheated and left her. I hated her for leaving in the first place for about 3 months and I started to really miss her. She was the only girl I could be with without fighting over this or that and I never felt awkward around her. She always went out of her way to make me happy and keep everything fine. It was the first time i felt something more than physical attraction to someone.Anyways a year and a half after the breakup I have regained a type of friendship with her that we had when we first met. We text a lot, I always start the convo but she flirts with me so much. I guess that's why I keep holding on and thinking I have a chance with her. I do miss her terribly and one day I got so tired of feeling bad I told her I loved her, then took it back a week later and said I didn't think it through because I was confused. She said it was fine and she was happy I felt better after telling her.The problem is now it seems like I need to hear from her or hang out just to feel happy. I think she is just keeping me around because she knows she controls me. I doubt she feels the same about me, I think she's just leading me on to let me down. She just never really seems to make an effort into anything having to do with our friendship, though she is extremely busy and has family problems.. Maybe she just doesn't have time to deal with me. But once I start to move on she brings me right back with flirts and sweet talk. I know this is a bad situation and I want to get away from her without the feeling of missing her. My mind goes crazy and I get so depressed when I try to leave. I just cant wrap my head around the fact she is controlling and doesn't feel the same.Please if you have the time give me some advice on what to do, it would be much appreciated!! :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 October 2011):
 However hard it is you need to get her out of your life. Off course it would be nice to have her at least as a friend in your life, but that is not going to work, it wont work because you love her more than a friend and that just spells disaster. You need to cut contact with her. But just be honest with her and tell her why. Explain that you cannot be friends any more because it is to hard for you because you still love her. Just be honest with her. I don't think she is good for you. Yes it will be hard to begin with because you will be sad and you will miss her but in time you will feel better and you will get back to your old self. There will be someone out there who treats you right and will give you the love you deserve. Do not let this girl walk all over you and drown your confidence, good luck.
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