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I feel like I have to act cautiously or else I might mess everthing up again.

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 January 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I had my girlfriend over at my house yesterday and my parents were home. We wanted to fool around but couldn't in my house (for fear of noise), so we told each other we would have our way with each other somewhere else later on. We teased each other a lot and I had her really riled up. With a lot of patience, I got her to play with herself in front of me after asking her many times before. Later on in a place we could actually go all the way, I was trying to get her to talk dirty, which I've also been trying to do for a while. She said a few measly words but I was trying to get her more into it. Then suddenly, she decided she didn't want to have sex any more. This really killed the mood because we had REALLY wanted each other. She was sad/upset, but after a failed attempt of talking, she just wanted to go home. She just said I frustrated her with what I had been asking of her and couldn't take it any more.

Now she still doesn't feel like talking or seeing me. I'm getting a really bad vibe from her, like the relationship is doomed or something. I really don't know what to do, and how to go about things if they go back to normal. I feel like I have to act cautiously or else I might mess everthing up again.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (1 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI think you should stop pushing her to do things she isn't willing or ready to do. We all have boundaries and you need to respect hers. There is nothing wrong in telling her that something turns you on, but pushing the issue over and over is not going to do anything for you and certainly not for you either.

Take your time to show her what turns you on or explain it, but remember it might not be something she is comfortable doing.. yet. So stop forcing it on her.

And make sure that you let her know just how much you liked it when she did do something you wanted her to do, and ASK her if she liked it too. You don't want someone who gets nothing out of the deal just to please you.. That is not going to last.

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