A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my Gf for 1year and 6months. We both gave our virginity to each other. However, when we first began to go out she told me about her past she hadnt dun much. All she did was kiss and have dry sex. But incomparison to me that was alot, as she was my first gf and I have only kissed one girl before her. But my problem is that I keep thinkin about her past n comparing to my own n feel like I have missed out. i know it was my own fault as Ive never had any self confidence. I keep thinkin I wish i went out n got more experienced. The thing is i dnt want to let my gf go as we do love each other. I also keep wanting to no about the guys in her past, as she had a fling with this one guy and when I asked her who it was she would'nt tell me. Help me someone.
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confidence, dry sex, her past Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Hi there, I think, remember, this is my opinion, that a person's private sex life before two people meet, should be
just that, private. What good is it to know, you only worry yourself to death, wondering, were they better than me, does she compare me to them? All of these things will run through your mind, if you are human. Leave the details where they are, for your peace of mind. You care about each other, build on that and be happy.
The other question, about having more experience, more experience to do what? You are with someone you care about, you get along, hopefully you respect each other, the experience you need is right there in front of you. Learning how to please your partner, with your partner. Ask what it is, that makes her happy, seek to satisfy that wish. People are different, what you think you would have learned by having more relationships, might not help you at all with the person you love. They might want you to have less experience. You have enough experience, and in this current envoirnment, it is better to be with less people than more, for your health's sake. So shut it down, if you would, it is very hard to please one person completely, concentrate on that, and stop worying about what you missed, which is probably nothing. You are lucky, if you think about it, to be in a caring relationship, be thankful and work to satsify your lover and yourself. You do that, you do well. Take care.
A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (9 July 2008):
 Maybe it's time for a change...Maybe you could do with a break from your girlfriend. Because if you want more, and she definately can't give you that more, it's going to escalate.
It's funny because you're in the situation I would like to be, settled with someone, and I've got the experienced past...But I now know that I could appreciate being settled with someone, having had a fair few different experiences...So maybe that's what you need.
Maybe you need to think, if it's meant to be, it will be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): I have a similar situation as you do. Although we both have had in few relationships, he has done more than I have. He made out with his two girlfriends before me and even went on 2nd base with them while with me I just made out with one and kissed another one. For a time I kind of felt the same way, but that was just at the beginning of the relationship and now I don't even think about it because I know he loves me and I love him back. If you love her as you say, then forgive her and focus on the relationship. I bet that this will make you forget all about this and if she doesn't want to tell you who the guy is, don't bother her. Like I said, focus on your relationship and not on her past or you will probably ruin it.
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