A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I hope someone can help with a situation which seems hopeless right now. I broke up with my boyfriend in June but we have to keep seeing each other and it is proving to be so hard. We do important work on a committee and he had a soiree for the committee members and he did not invite me. One moment he is winking when he sees me and the next he looks pained that he has to see me. He quickly moved on to another girl after we broke up and it pains me to hear him mention her so I avoid him. I went to Europe this summer and met someone else but in my way I still love him and want all those feelings to go away. I just about feel like crying when I see him and do not know what to do. I am thinking of quitting the committee I am on with him because quite frankly I have failed at getting over him. Any words of wisdom so needed right now...Thank you all.
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female
reader, kle7  +, writes (25 September 2008):
I agree with DoubleM. I know that it's hard to accept that maybe you were just 1 of many for him. From what you've said he seems like one of those guys who only cares for himself and how many girls he can get. The best advice is to move on, realize who you are and what you have to offer, and don't look back.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): Wow. i'm surprised by the other answers. i know what it feels like to still care about someone that can't be yours. There do exist situations that mean two people who love each other cannot be together, but a rational decision does not end love. I hope you path to getting over this is short. i think the best hope is that you are swept off your feet by someone totally unexpected.
If you are able to continue on the committee, i'm impressed. To be in his company sounds painful, but i'll bet you make it through, only to agonize over everything later. on most days I would vote for no contact, cold turkey, to get on faster. But i'm not that strong. Are you?
Good luck,
scribble
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): I recently achieved a longtime goal of mine, which was to get over a past love. It sounds like your former boyfriend payed you little respect when you were together (he moved on very quickly after you without much regard to your relationship) and it seems he pays you maybe even less respect now. He flirts with you probably because he knows that he can....(all men do this). He flirts with you because he thinks that you welcome it to some degree and this fact no doubt flatters him. Next time he does this, look at him in all seriousness as if you are not impressed and see through his motives.
My advice... Remember the strong and independent woman that you are. Remember that you are intelligent and have ideas and skill to offer this Committee. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect and will not settle for someone you offers anything less.
Also... Remember what you are not. Remember that you are not a woman who's self-worth is defined by a man. Remember how he hurt you and disregarded your feelings.
Don't quit the Committee. Your ex-bo would no doubt take it as a sign you haven't gotten over him. Show him and everyone else what greatness you have to offer, and in particular, show him what he once had but didn't notice and what he will never get a chance to have again.
Good luck and be strong!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): if you're really feeling like u can get over him and that it's killing you to look at him or even hear his name then maybe you should think about it, think about all the things he did to make you happy and then think about all the things that caused your break-up. later on you'll realize that you broke up with him for a reason becuz everything has a purpose. he probably never even deserved you at all.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 September 2008):
 You do not provide your age, but based on the possible business or government position mentioned I must assume that you are at least legal age or somewhat more mature. If true, then I suspect you should realize that you were probably just another conquest along the way for your prior boyfriend. The likely solution is to accept that - and move on.
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