A
female
age
51-59,
*uddlebead_67
writes:My question is i am a 40 year old and just recently i was dating a guy who was 12 years older then me! He is a driver for a local company and I dont know if i looked at this relationship diffrently then he did! I met him at my job and we became kinda close but at that time I was in a relationship with another guy but was having problems and I was looking to get out of the relationship because of him not wanting to work! When this older guy came along he made me feel special! I really wasnt looking for much but I started to have strong feelings but just couldnt handle some of the issues I really thought he liked me and he was really good to me I thought I meant something to him just because of all the good things he did for me! I dont know were things went wrong But near the end I found out that he was still in touch with the ex-girlfriend and he accused me of stealing from him where thats were it ended I really though he liked me but I guess I was wrong, Can you tell me were I went wrong After all thats happened I dont feel that I have what it takes to make any guy happy! What should I do????
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female
reader, TygersDream  +, writes (5 March 2007):
 WOW! Either this guy has SEVERE trust issues, Doesn't know how to break up with somebody courteously or you HAVE been stealing from him!
Just out of curiosity: What made him think that anyway? Was it from his account or did he just notice that coins around his apartment kept going missing after you left? 'Now, I'm SURE I left a handful of quarters on that table.' turns to look at you humming blissfully in the kitchen with narrowed eyes. Da da DA!
I understand what you mean about NOT being able to make any guy happy - it seems like everything's perfect, you're in your element, you are feeling the best you have in ages but then he turns around and accuses you of being a thief!
At least scold you for something truthful, right?
You're probably asking yourself WHAT kind of impression you give off to make him come to THAT conclusion. "God, I can't satisfy ANYBODY!!!"
Joking aside - Babes, sometimes it's just the WRONG guy. The early stages of a relationship is blissful, for sure, but it doesn't indicate what that guy is REALLy like. So far you've just talked about how well he treated you and indicated that there were some issues you couldn't handle (like did he believe in child sacrifice or something?). It just means the honeymoon/facade is over, and the issues you couldn't handle are the indicators that you guys just don't mesh. I wouldn't take it personally, it's just the ugly side of dating that you have to come to terms with now.
As for whether you repel men? That's a hard question to answer because you haven't indicated what kind of a person you are in a relationship. You should try to define that first before you accuse yourself of being bad in a relationship.
Let's take Me in a past relationship, for example, I was a pretty rational girl until I started dating this guy. Then I turned needy, controlling and uncontrollable all at once. It still burns my cheeks thinking about it! If I stayed like that, of course I would keep destroying my future relationships.
Since you're not a thief or a swindler, maybe the guy is just forgetful - misplaces things and doesn't remember that he did so and must come to the conclusion that it's YOU. Either way, if he really cared for you, he would have given you ample opportunity to defend yourself AND stopped calling his ex-girlfriend.
Relationships are a 2-way deal, obviously, and HE didn't hold up his end of the bargain. You can't take the SOLE responsibility for the failure of your relationship. So far, it's HIS fault for not trusting in you, and not truly giving you what you deserve in a mutual relationship.
Don't give up, but most of all, don't grow bitter. You'll laugh about this, FUME over it, SCREAM about the futility of it all to your friends, but in the end you'll pick yourself up and get on with life. You have to.
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