A
female
age
36-40,
*houghtihaditall
writes:we have been seeing each other for since last june he was the best looking , most laid back , kind happy person ive ever meet and i truly love him /... until xmas every thing was fine (i was paying for everything as he didnt have a job that was my only problem) then i got pregnant . and had an abortion which in hind sight i regret so much..i became depressed and anxious around his friends .. we finally got a place together after months of sleepin on his friends front room floor .... he has a best mate and his best mate had a girlfriend . we use to go round there together untill i felt very nervous around her and her mates and i couldnt put my finger on what was wrong ..I became more depressed and in the end stopped going out i felt like i couldnt socialise any more and got angry and fustrated at my self and ended up takin it out on my boyfriend . i was confused for a long time as i didnt understand what was going on ..until recently well last Saturday I came back from a party with my mum to a friends house where my boyfriend was 2 30 am he goes out to return at 5 30 am and said he fell asleep in the middle of the town centre . i knew this was a lie immidiatley as if u fall asleep in the middle of our town center u will get mugged and he had still all his money and his bmx bike with him . so he tells me that he has been lying to me for months (i guess this is why i felt so low) he tried to kiss his best friends ex girlfriend . he moves out and i move back to my perants after a weekend fuelled on drugs (paid with the next months rent money (my Money))he says he is sorry and so stupid and i hav to learn to trust him and he would never do it again ?? he says he will stop the drugs and be faithful. i dont know wether to trust him or not ... i feel like i cant exist without him im so confused about men what should i do ???? if u got this far i thankyou so much for your time and apreciate your advice !!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (30 March 2007):
 You don't feel confused about MEN, you feel confused about THIS man. There's a difference. You're being used. This guy doesn't even have the respect to come up with a good lie for you. Town center my Aunt Sally Sue!
If you want to get slapped in the face once again, go ahead and stick around, but in a situation like yours I'd be headed for Heartache Horizon so fast his head would be spinning. Yes, it's going to hurt like blazes. You've gone through a lot with this guy, and you've invested a lot of yourself in the relationship with him. But time after time you've seen that the payoff just isn't there for you. He is never going to measure up to what you need and deserve as a life partner.
Do yourself a favor. Take the hurt now, before it gets any worse.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): i can imagine how you feel. you must be torn in 2. the only thing you can do is ask yourself do you honestly feel that you could trust him again. one thing about a womans trust is that once it is broken a man has to work ten times harder to get it back. if he is willing and acts on this then you have to ask yourself was the relationship truly that beautiful? and can we have that again? if yes then you must learn to 4give and never mention this ever again, yes, that is inc.arguments. personally i do believe in 2nd chances, but do not be a pushover, let him earn your trust and love. do not be so quick to give it back to him on a plate. slow things right down. good luck hun
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