A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend used to be a heavy pot smoker (i'm talking daily) and and gave it up for about 7 months as he knows im not comfortable with it. However, about 3 months ago he relapsed but i only found out as I caught him lying. Since then he has said he will give it up, and also agreed to seeing a specialist about it, but we never got around to doing it. Anyway, I caught him lying about it again just a couple of days ago. He also cancels our plans to smoke pot and has used excuses such as work functions and even a family member's sickness.Even worse, we are going overseas in a couple of days and everything has been planned and paid for. I have no idea what to do any more. I love him but I'm tired of being second place to weed. I've realised I cant change him, but this situation is just too much for me to handle at the moment.Please tell me, how would you handle this? Do you think our overseas trip may bring us closer together or am I just fooling myself? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): Thanks for your input guys. Its opened my mind up a little. Similar to your brother Honeypie, my boyfriend has been in college for the same amount of time as me, but has nothing to show for it whereas everyone else is finishing/nearly finished. I think the best thing would be for me to forget it about it now, enjoy my holiday and then break things off for good.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Sorry me again, go on your trip with him, it's planned and paid for. It's a good time to show him the beauty of a drug free life. This is his last chance. He either goes on the trip and stays clean, and comes back and get help to change his life, or I say Dump him. It takes about 30 days to get completely out of his system. But after a week, it has no hold of him and he can stop if he wants too. Psychological addiction just means it's become a very bad habit.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (30 November 2011):
You can also call Frank yourself, they can give you advice on what you need to do to look after yourself. Loving any type of addict is difficult, and you need support and advice from people who are experienced in this.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (30 November 2011):
Your in the UK, good... Tell him to call FRANK http://www.talktofrank.com/ 0800 77 66 00Got nothing again the pot meself, (after all many countries can prescribe it for medical reasons and it's been used all round the world for centuries) but daily smoking is not recommended. That leads to psychological addiction, isolation, and possible psychosis and then mental hospital. If he can't just give up, work together on cutting down a lot... No more than once a week, aim for that.It's already affecting his life, so he needs to sort things out. He can't have a girlfriend at the moment, because he's already in a committed relationship with the weed.Leave him permanently, until he changes and you can see that he is seeing a drug specialist team, he won't be any good for you and he will make you feel sad and hold you back in life. Heavy smoking like this will change the brain. Tough love, never stay and support anyone addictive habits, you are just enabling him to never change. If he won't do this one thing for you, picking up the phone and talking to someone, then why stay, he loves a smoke more than he loves you. It's not physically addicting, not like crack or cocaine, he can give up if he wants to, and the FRANK people can help.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Go overseas, enjoy your vacation but honestly, I wouldn't expect him to change because YOU want him to change. Obviously HE doesn't want to change. Going on a trip won't get him to stop thinking about weed or even doing weed. So yes, I DO think you are fooling yourself in thinking a nice little holiday will "cure" him.
My brother was a pot-head for 3 years, he didn't quit til his GF told him he could get out and get lost. After that he realized he was a moron, who had wasted 4 years in college with nothing to show for. They are together now and have been for over 25 years, he took his MBA some years ago and is rather successful today, but he could easily have been a pot head loser.
Aren't you a little worried that he might try and get weed when you are overseas and can get YOU involved in this trouble?
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