A
female
age
51-59,
*umble
writes:Hi - I think I'm just going through the motions of being with my partner. We don't live together and split up earlier this year before getting back together about 7 weeks ago.I was the one that ended the relationship - things hadn't been good since around September last year. We both have children from previous relationships and before the split we used to do things with the kids altogether. Now, though since we got back together my heart simply isn't in it anymore. My feelings for my partner have somehow changed and I feel like he's a good male friend now - it's hard to explain but the physical attraction and romantic feelings I once had just aren't there anymore. I know that I wouldn't have contacted him to get back together - although we do get on really well - can a relationship survive on that alone? I'm only 39 and feel too young to feel like this. I really don't want to hurt him but I can't see me carrying on under this strain much longer - can anyone help or relate to how/why I feel like this? Thanks ever so much.
View related questions:
get back together, got back together, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (2 November 2007):
 Hello.
Its that old thing called Love,when you parted you must have decided that your relationship was over, then what ever reason you are together again,(my opinion only)on my life experience, when you leave a relationship most of the care and feelings you have evaporate,you then harden yourself because you believe you wont fall into that situation again, by going back into the same relationship, you can still see the same problems that made you split in the first place.
Also it is hard for you to have the same feelings now that you had before, once the love has gone from the relationship i have found that it does not return, if you put the other facts into context all the emotions you used to have for your man, you will find some of then are easy and are still present, but love and caring and happiness do not always follow suit therefore you are left in the situation that you are in now.
this in fact only gives you two option, sorry to say it means that you will stay in your relationship and try and make it work, or you will leave again and go into a new relationship looking for the emotions that you had to start with, i cannot tell you what is best for you, but you must decide what you believe is the best course of action, i always think that once you have fallen out of love with a person it very rarely returns, not for me at any rate.
A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (2 November 2007):
 I think you have answered this for yourself really. You no longer feel the love or have the feeling that you once had for him therefore you should try and stay friends with him if not for yourselves but also for your children, it sounds like you were happy to an certain extent once, so good memories are still there.
If you were to stay together you possibly wouldnt be happy together and this would ruin all chances of friendship for the future. Leave on good terms.
Good luck
Peaches
...............................
A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 I think that you have stated more than 2 reasons in your post why you should discontinue this relationship. A relationship should make you happy and compliment the good things that you have in your life. If he is not making you happy then the only reasonable thing to do would be to tell him how you feel and move on. You should never sacrifice your own happines because of his feelings.
...............................
|
