A
female
age
30-35,
*alcon223
writes:Okay so I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and a half and I have been very happy up until the last 3 months. I love him and still love seeing him etc. But I have been worrying about his lack of seriousness towards our relationship. I am 20 and he will be 21 here soon. I understand that at such a young age we are not going to commit to marriage tomorrow and I would never ever pressure that and he knows it. I am just worried that i could be wasting my time. Whenever I ask him about it he usually just kinda gives me a it isnt happening anytime soon. end of story he wont talk about it anymore. He is a farmer. and that includes LONG hours 7 days a week. I am ok with that but I feel like he never makes time for just me. If i want him to have dinner with my parents its a chore to hope he can get home by 6. My cousin is getting married in April and I asked him to come with me to the wedding and it depends on the weather. Now i am always understanding about his work but I feel like im not asking to much. This shouldnt be such a big deal I should be able to have 5 hours with him one day here and there. am i wrong? He is very very close with his friends. They are always around he spends all day with them out at there shop and then when his dad and uncle go home for the night he is STILL there with his friends, still hanging out with them and he will ask me to come over but then I end up sitting in the shop for 4 hours playing games on my phone. There is no privacy whatsoever he lives with his parents and I do to. SO our daily senario goes like this we sit in the shop for hours its 9pm / 10:30 ish before we leave we drive to his house he showers i watch tv with his dad he comes downstairs sits on the computer and by that time its time for bed and me to go home. I feel like im being fit into his life. instead of him making time for me i am just being an add on. Am i over reacting?? ugh its so frustrating because when its good it great with him and i love him so much but is this worth it?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 March 2012):
 Sorry honey, that doesn't sounds like a very fun nor loving relationship.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (18 March 2012):
 I hate to say this but I have to agree with your assessment of the situation. Clearly he is more a priority for you than you are for him.He has made it obvious where his true interest lies and it isn't with you. He's not ready to settle down yet, he works long hours and prefers to stay close to home. Nothing wrong with that, but it makes him incompatible and this is as good as it's going to get. Even if he did suddenly decide to marry you he is not going to become more exciting and more attentive 5 years and 3 kids later. 'when it's good it's great' applies to everyone. Your relationship is unremarkable in that way. Here is an analogy for you. If you went to a restaurant where you were frequently neglected by the staff and left hungry would you continue going there just cause they served a few great dishes on a good day? Of course not.If your friend had a boyfriend who was great but for whom she had no feelings would you advise her to stay with him just because he was a good guy? Conversely loving someone, in and of itself, is not reason enough to pursue a future with them. There have to be other things to make a serious, exclusive commitment worth while.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (18 March 2012):
 Sounds like a fun relationship.
Sit in his friend's shop and play games on your phone.
Go to his house and watch TV with his dad while he is upstairs.
Then he gets on his computer until its time for him to go to bed and you go home.
What's in this relationship for you?
How often is it so good its great?
How many times do you have the sort of date outlined above before the great time rolls around again?
Then when he
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