A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was in a very unhappy marriage for nearly 10 years. Now, I am a single mother of 3 (all under 10 yrs old). After the divorce I started seeing a man I had been with for a short while before I got married (we were both very young at the time).It has been about 4 months that we have been seeing each other. On our 3rd or 4th date he made it known he wasnt looking for a serious relationship, which was fine by me as I wasn't either. We live 1.5 hrs away from each other so our time together is usually 1-2x a week. But we txt each other 15 times or so everyday. We have went on weekend getaways together, have so much in common that its almost scary at times..But alas, he has said many times over that he doesnt want children and has only met mine once for a brief moment. Sometimes he acts like he wants to be my boyfriend by saying or doing things that are very affectionate like Wanting me to meet his family, talks about maybe someday being in another serious relationship, moving in together, etc..But other times he gets very defensive and even the slightest slip of wanting something more makes him put up a huge brick wall.I know he has been hurt before and he even asked me one night if I thought that maybe the reason why both of us weren't looking for a relationship was that we were scared of being hurt again. He stayed with me on one occasion and left personal effects on purpose-I told him he had forgotten them and he said it was on purpose. He has also admitted that this 4 months stint is the longest time he has been with anyone in 2 years. I feel like I am dating Jeckyl and Hyde. One day- he's a boyfriend, the next he's an emotionally unavailable FWB.So here I am. Falling in love with what is on the surface a FWB relationship- I am scared to tell him how I feel and have him pull away. For the sake of my kids I want them to grow up in a stable family- but I am just so torn between having them be happy and giving up on someone I love because they have been hurt before and are maybe too guarded- or he has feelings for me and has issues with my having kids.How long do I wait for him? I just dont know how to interpret his behavior. But I dont want to get hurt if he doesnt feel the same way about me and is just using me for sex (and we dont even have sex everytime we are together).
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all. I did the right thing and am moving on. I wanted my "happily ever after" so badly that I just couldn't see what a negative path I was taking to get there.
Mr. Right will come along, I just have to be patient.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): Hi
In case you need to hear it from a lot of us, so I am adding my comments. I agree with every word that has been said by Ask oldersister, the boy and Drew's Girl.
So, go on with life now, and chuck this one out of your life.
Love
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