A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I sold out.Basically, around 2 years ago I started a new job in an office working for an insurance company. It's a great job with great pay, and great people, I'm really happy there. One workmate i bonded with in particular was a guy called Richard. I wouldn't say I fancied him right away, he wasn't that good looking, but he was funny and friendly and charming and we soon became really close friends.However, soon enough I started to have more than friendly feelings for him, and I knew he had feelings for me too. One day he asked if i wanted to go out for a drink, like as a date and i said yes. naturally i was thrilled. He told me not to tell anyone in the office, which at the time i thought was a little strange, but i agreed not to, and didn't. I soon found out why.A couple of months later at a work charity funraiser, everyone was a bit drunk but nevertheless having a good time. I was standing talking to Richard when this girl walks in and his face drops. It was his girlfriend. Who he had told me DID NOT exist. Infact he had mentioned this girl before, as his ex. Lies.Things got a bit ugly, he introduced her to me which i found really insulting, she also seemed to know who i was because she looked like she wanted to punch me in the face. I went mental at Richard, his girlfriend overheard and started crying and well... you can imagine the rest. I didn't speak to Richard for about half a year.Then this year at the work christmas party he came and apologized to me, about everything. I accepted his apology but assured him we would never be nothing more than friends ever, and he only had himself to blame. He looked a bit gutted (even though he was still with the girlfriend I have mentioned before) and accepted it, we hugged and that was that.I hadn't really planned on being his "friend" again, but I have found it really easy to slip back into the way things were. We were really good friends, and I think on some level I missed him. I heard he and his girlfriend broke up a few weeks back so he's single now, so i guess that's why i drunkenly kissed him when we met at a party 3 weeks ago. It felt so right, but i feel so stupid. I feel like i've sold out. Apparently he cheated on that girlfriend 12 times, and he's always chasing after girls. I know he's no good for me, I know he's an idiot and I know he would just hurt me. But I can't help these strong feelings I have for him. I don't know what to do. I want to keep our friendship, but I also want more. But I also don't want anything to do with him, everytime i talk to him i feel like i've let myself down for being such a push over.Help?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 February 2010):
Keep the friendly contact to as little as possible. You know you can't trust him, you know he will cheat, and you know he will lie to you. Do not give him a second chance.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): I understand what you are going through. But at times its not all about emotions and feelings. It is very dangerous to make decisions led by emotions.
Use facts to decide whether you want this relationship. If this guy has been unfaithful to his ex-gal frend and to you as well, he might not be trustworthy.
Decide whether you want a long term relationship which will not hurt you or you dont mind a short term relationship, that you would enjoy now and later have a broken heart.
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