A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 19 years old and have been seeing this guy who is 9 years older than me. He lives in the same neighborhood and i've known him for a year as friends. Recently we've been hanging out together even more. We go for movies and long drives. I'm totally into him. I love spending time with him cause he makes me feel so special, he makes me laugh and we always have a good time! We have kissed and made out a few times. I gave in only cause he seemed caring and genuine at first. He hasn't asked me out officially yet, but he continues calling me when he's free and we text all day. I always hope that he'd ask me out sooner or later but nothing like that has happened even after a month or so of going out with him. He definitely seems interested from what i can comprehend. He calls me baby and all those mushy terms too.Today however he said something that has disturbed me. We were talking about one of my close friends who's in a long distance relationship. And he kept saying that if they didn't meet often it wouldn't work. Oh and his job requires him to go abroad very often. And when he does, we'd only meet on Sundays. It felt like he was trying to give me hints that if we were together, it wouldn't work cause of the distance! My mind has come to agree that he doesn't want to get serious and would only end up using me and playing with my feelings. I don't know what to do. I like him and my only hope is that he would fall for me too! Its hard for me to detach from people as i'm a very emotional person. Help!
View related questions:
long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 July 2012):
 He’s 28 and experienced.
You are 19 and not experienced
You have already made out with him without the benefit of real dates… you’ve already set it up to show that you will take whatever he gives you since you are so into him.
Just because a man texts all day and calls you baby does not mean he’s into you like you want/need him to be.
He’s not giving you hints that it wouldn’t work… he’s showing you point blank where you fit into his life… which is not as a full part. You are on the fringes of his life.
And he’s correct about LDRs… they don’t work if you can’t see each other regularly, and have a plan to end the distance.
You would do well to emotionally not get involved with this guy as he clearly has you slotted as fun and games IMO
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (23 July 2012):
 Sometimes people are very hard to read. I am not sure I have enough information as you say you hang out, go to movies, go for long drives, and spend time together, but he hasn't officially asked you out. Does that mean you are making all of these plans?
As for his statement about LDRs, I think he was just making a general statement that if people in LDRs don't try to see each other regularly/often, that the relationship won't work. This is generally true whether it is you/him or another couple.
I think I would ask him if he will continue to call/text you when he is gone. That might help you. However, your instincts are telling you this guy may be using you. I don't know if we can help you with that one because you really don't give any indication that he is.
If he kisses you, is kind to you, and has nicknames for you, he probably does care about you. Like the rest of us, only time will tell if the relationship will work/last.
...............................
|
