A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy for 2 months before he left to work at a ski resort in Colorado for the winter (he made these plans months before we met, because 1) he’s in debt and the US pays more and 2) his ex broke his heart so he wanted to leave). Three weeks into our relationship, I found out he was texting his ex, telling her he cared about her, etc. He said that she was just feeling bad that he moved on so soon (even though she’s the one who dumped him) and that she was going through a hard time in her life so he wanted to be a ‘good friend’. I think he’s very immature and doesn’t know what he wants, but for some reason I still want him back. He’s 27, has a college degree but isn’t using it, wants to go back to school when he returns from CO, he has depression and anxiety issues that he says he’s using the time in CO to work on (but I doubt it). When he told me he had plans to go to the US, I told him I was uncomfortable being in a long-distance relationship (especially since we hadn’t been together that long), he begged me to stay together, saying we could make it work and our love was ‘too strong’ to let it go. Well, he left and over the next two months, I received an email about once a week and 2 phone calls. SO, I broke it off (I had been telling him I needed more to keep a connection). He said that it was difficult because he doesn’t have internet at his apartment, his phone didn’t work, etc. When we broke up, it surprised me how well he took it, saying he couldn’t make me be with him if I didn’t want to, maybe when he came back things would be better, etc. It’s been about a month since we broke up, and I don’t know what to do! I’ve tried dating other guys, and it’s just not working. Especially since he found out I was dating again and emailed me saying that he wouldn’t be coming back in May like planned. Well I called him to straighten things out, saying I wasn’t dating anyone seriously (kind of wish I would have let him wonder..), then all of a sudden, he was back to his plan to come back in May. I know he cares about me, when we’re together it’s great, but this distance just killed our relationship and now I don’t know if I can live with the fact that HE can live so easily without me. I’m thinking maybe I’m doing it to myself: that I like the chase but I feel like he’s disrespected me and I don’t know how to deal with it. Any thoughts?
View related questions:
broke up, debt, his ex, immature, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 I highly doubt that he'll be coming back in May....he sounds like he is all lies.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 "the love was too strong to let it go".....after 5 months??? hmmm...i dunno about that. love takes a long time to grow in strength, and the fact that he was still talking to his ex like that makes me think that the love was not a strong as he said. your dealing with a guy that one minute says he's coming home the next he's not. one minute he wants to be with you and loves you and then the next he just lets you go so easily? i dont think this guy is right for you - he is confused, immature, and not to mention living in a different country! while it mite seem hard dating new guys now, you need to give yourself a bit of time to get back in the game - its only been a month so you cant expect to dive back into the deep end right away. give yourself time babe, but i dont think that you should let him back in your life - who know how long it would be before he was away again, changing his mind about you every second? you dont have the time to play silly games with a 27 year old - so dont. move on and find the person you deserve and who deserves to be with you. good luck babe email me if you want xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Dimithri  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 you have dated this guy only for 2 months and you have fallen in love with him! i understand, i've too been in situ's like that. this guy has been dumped by his ex. don't you think he's trying to make her Jealous?
it seems to me that you are going behind him. if he dosen't want you why should you go behind. true! may be your in love if he dosen't love you back what's the point? i think your just wasting time.try to move on friend..
...............................
|
