A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So there's this guy I work with and we had been getting along really well. When we first started flirting I found out he had a girlfriend. So I backed down for a while. He kept at it so I figured what's the harm in flirting. It's not like it's actually gonna go anywhere cause he has a girlfriend. A little harmless flirting never hurt anyone. Time went on and the flirting got more intense, and I knew that him and his girl were having problems (details i got from him and other people) so I figured if he is stepping it up a notch then they must have broken up or are pretty close to it, so I continued on with the flirting. The other night he invited me out for coffee and things seemed normal, but then at the end of the night we started making out and had sex. I figured he really liked me and things were done between him and his girl so I was happy. Well come to find out things changed so I asked him what's up, and he told me that him and his girl were still togther. So I let it go. But it's been a few days now and I haven't heard from him, so I texted him today and confronted him about it and he acted annoyed and told me that he can't "text u 24/7" which by the way is a complete exxageration!!! (funny he found the time to text me before we had sex)anyway. I really started to like this guy and am a little hurt that he took advantage of me. My question is how do i fix what I have done, and get him to start talking to me again? Even if it's just friends. I'm fine with that. I know most are gonna say leave him alone, but I really don't want to. I know there is the risk of getting hurt, but I'm willing to take that risk. I know it's dumb... but it's what I want. So how do I cover my steps of acting like a jealous girl and be friends again?
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (7 January 2010):
 Here is some moral statements for guidance.
See, most basically sex is for pleasure. But sex need relationships.
And, reality is that...sex should not be used for earning anything...money, power or even relationship. If any one use sex to earn anything then he should prepared him self for lot of hurting.
The thing required to be earn need different standard. It is also true with relationship. If you want good relationship, then first think out standard and check all details with pre-determinate standard and then proceed if all details match with your standard.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): I agree with the aunts here, sorry. And why would you want to be involved with a guy who is cheating on his girlfriend, regardless of the rumors you heard they are just rumors and until you hear it from him, they are still together. He's a jerk, I wouldn't give him any more of your time.
And having sex with someone this fast just makes you look cheap. He will never be intersted in you in a romantic way, he doesn't have any respect for you and you shouldn't have any for him.
Most guys will act any way they can to get into your pants, even act "as if" they want you for more than sex, even act like they are fallin' love. What they are fallin' in love with is seeing you naked.
Take your time next time and make a guy work for it....sounds too simple doesn't it?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): You did a "don't ask, don't tell" about whether he was still with his GF, and I think you are as guilty of causing that transgression as he is. You knew he was already starting a sexually-charged relationship with you while he still had a GF. And you mention learning about his troubled relationship from his friends - did you ever even hear ANYTHING to suggest they were on thin ice from him? I think you just didn't ask about it before sleeping with you so you could have plausible deniability later. Now? I don't know. Obviously he just wanted an easy fuck. Sounds like he got it. If you wanna be friends with him now, then your best course of action is to send him ONE more message that you wanna be friends and you're not necessarily pushing any more romantic interaction if he doesn't wanna go there anymore. Then drop it. Maybe he returns the message or maybe he doesn't.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (7 January 2010):
 Well how would you feel if you do get together with him, and things start going south, and another girl really liked flirting with him, and he had sex with her, while he was still with you, and she just wasnt going to leave him alone? Its obvious you don't want to be "just friends" with him, and you are jealous, it goes with the territory when you mess around with someone in a relationship, and your assumption that they were finished, shows you were going to sleep with him regardless of his relationship status, and you say you havent heard from him, I thought you worked with him? STAY AWAY FROM HIM! for his good.
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