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I feel like he is cheating and we are always arguing?? What can I do??

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *mmaxbaby writes:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 4 months, he tells me he loves me all the time, but im still paranoid hes going to cheat on me. Recently hes been more argumentative, and when we have sex the pleasure is all on his side and when i ask for pleasure he says no. I feel that hes being selfish!

I blame him for not wanting to please me on myself, i think that maybe if i was skinnier or more beautiful he might go down on me and please me, he tells me its not me but i know it is.

Whenever i tell him how i feel about things he says 'dont start an argument', Im only trying to tell him how i feel. I dont know what to do, i feel he doesnt care about me and my pleasure and that its all about him and he wants everything his way. What do i do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008):

Hey girl, i was in the same situation as you.

i broke up with my boyfriend because he wasnt listening to me it was really really hard, he new i didnt want to, it was probably the most hardest thing i have ever done!! but it had to be done.

I think you should do the same thing, if he does truly love you he will come chasing back, he will want you back just like my boyfriend, but i cant take him back he was really rude to me he got to a stage were he started hitting me it hurts me to hear his voice cause i want it back but i cant he hurt me he scared me for life.

Sweetie you sound like a great kid, i dont want to see what happened to me happen to you. So i think the best thing to do is dump him your better then that.

Goodluck bub

xx Renae xx

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2008):

hlskitten agony auntHi

Some guys and girls for that matter are only out for themselves in that way. Sometimes they need 'educating' in a nice way. Its how we get experience in the bedroom afterall!

He's being selfish basically. Its nothing to do with how you look and he would be doing the same with anyone else he was with. Until he realises sex is a two way thing somehow.

Thats probably why you dont trust him, if a woman feels she's being used for sex and the guy isn't bothered about pleasing them, how can the woman trust him?

Not too sure how you can communicate with him if he accuses you of starting an argument everytime you try. So if it carries on you might be better off moving on and finding someone thats into give and take. Pretty much what a proper relationship amounts to!

Good luck.

C xxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

write him a note to tell him.

if he wont listen to your problems he doesnt care enough to be your man.

a little following him might not hurt.

check his mileage on his vehicle or something and see if he drives a lot out of his range of his job.

as for pleasure- make him do it first and then tell him he can get his second.

start putting yourself before him for a change.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (24 March 2008):

kenny agony auntPersoanlly i think your boyfriend is being really selfish torwards you, and i think that the problem lies with him and not yourself. Don't blame yourself with things like if you were more beautiful, or more skinnier because im sure you are lovely as you are. The only problem here is he has adopted a very selfish approach where the only thing that is important is that he get's satisfaction and thats it. Give him an ultimatum, have a good talk with him and give him a couple of weeks, a month tops to change. If after this time he is still the same then i think you should walk away from the whole relationship. There are plenty of other guys out there that would be only to willing to show you the love and affection that you so rightly deserve.

All the best x

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