A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Is there any hope for my marriage? I have been married for 23 years. Throughout most of the marriage my husband has done just about anything he's wanted. He doesn't feel as if he should be accountable to me. He has lost large amounts of money in real estate investments and multi-level marketing companies, but he believes he can earn a living this way. He has filed bankruptcy several times and has borrowed tens of thousands of dollars from friends. He avoids these people because he knows he will never be able to pay them back. There has been several lawsuits filed against him. He refuses to get a job even though he has an engineering degree. He has now started to date other women. I know that he does this because he can present himself to them as a sucessful businessman. I can't make him feel good about himself because I know of his failures. I guess these women make him feel good about himself. I don't believe there has been anything sexual between him and these women. I believe he has dinner with them and that's about it. When I find out about these dates he lies about it, but I can usually prove to him that I know he lying. I do not want to stay in a marriage where I am not respected. He refuses to go to marriage counseling. Our children are now in college, and so there is no reason for me to stay in the marriage. It's very hard throwing away 23 years. He doesn't drink alcohol and he is not verbally abusive. For the most part, he is a very pleasant person, but I don't feel as if he respects me. I don't have feelings of love for him, and he probably feels the same about me. Is this marriage worth saving?
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female
reader, lovesalias +, writes (24 January 2009):
 Have you talked to him about these feelings you have. Maybe you should try a seperation. Talk to him and see how he feels. I am sorry that you have these feelings of neglect and disrespect. I am sure that he has similar feelings that you do but doesn't know how to approach you about it. Approach him and talk to him about it before you make any moves. Express to him how his actions are affecting you. See how he reacts. Communication is the key. If nothing comes of this then try the seperation. If after you have seperated and still feel like you can no longer be with him then make a decision as to how you with to proceed. Only you know the answer to that. Good Luck and God Bless. I hope this helps!
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