New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I feel like all he wants is a substitute mother!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 November 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have recently moved in with my on/off partner of 7yrs. He used to live live with his mum but she passed away 4 mths ago and he has now decided he wants to be a proper father. The problem i have is that he has started pressureing me to give up work to be a stay at home mum as i work 3 hrs a evening and he doesnt like having to care for the children alone. Not only that but we arent a very close couple, we never go out together, we dont have a sex life, i feel that all he s after is a substitute mother. I often felt our relationship never had a chance when his mum was alive and now i feel like he wants me to take over her role. I cant approach him about this as he has suddenly put the house she left him up for sale and if i pull the plug he will be left homeless. I dont want to spend my life stuck with someone who doesnt really love me.

View related questions: moved in, sex life

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, unmeidaagonyaunt United States +, writes (2 November 2011):

unmeidaagonyaunt agony auntYou are hoping for your man to change, and I just don't see that happening. You have known this guy for 7 years, and for seven years you have felt like you were the "second string" to his mother.

Now, just because his mom is gone, you think that things are going to change? Hoo boy ...

Long story short: you have waited the better part of a decade for this relationship to work, and it still isn't working. Not only that, but you closed your post with an indication that you are not ready to communicate with him about the very issue that means life or death to your relationship. I think it is time to face the facts ... this relationship is over, and as much affection as you have for this guy, it's not enough to overlook some very glaring holes.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (1 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntIf he sold his mothers house, he would have made some money correct?

If you are done with the relationship, tell him, and if you can/want to give him 14 days -30 days to find a new place. He sounds like a room mate not a "partner".

I think there is a reason why your relationship was an on/off one to begin with. It wasn't stable or build on mutual affection, but perhaps two people who were comfortalbe with each other? two people who weren't ready to start over with "new" people?

You need to figure out what you really want to do with your life and act on it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I feel like all he wants is a substitute mother!"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312781999998606!