A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. The beginning of the problem was the junior year of high school. I took *Alexis as my date to the homecoming dance and junior prom because she didn't have one. My friends thought that she liked me but I blew it off because it didn't matter if she did, friends were the only thing we could be. It wasn't til when we went to prom and won King and Queen did she really made her feelings known. After that, she's been trying to get with me and aggresively too. I made my feelings clear that I don't see her that way.*Teresa came to my school after Winter Break of our senior year. *Teresa's beautiful, smart, sweet, talented just amazing. We hit it off immediately. It took a little while but she became my girlfriend and I felt so lucky.*Alexis made it perfectly clear that she did not like *Teresa and tried to break us up repeatedly. The couple of times did not work but the last ones really started trouble for us and looking back at it now, it seemed so obivous.Alexis told me that Teresa was no good and that she cheats on me. I thought it was bull until she led towards the football bleachers and I saw Teresa kissing another guy from the football team. *Alexis told me that they have been meeting there to hook up two weeks after we became a couple. I thought she was cheating on me and *Alexis was truly looking out for my well-being. I confronted *Teresa and accused her of cheating on me and she told me that it wasn't true. I called her a liar and whore and broke up with her.Turns out that *Alexis made a deal with the guy to be friendly with *Teresa and kiss her so that I could catch them. I only found out because one of my friend heard the football player bragging about it during free period a couple days later. I confessed to *Teresa that I found out the truth and that I was wrong and she forgave me but was still upset that I lost trust in her that easily even when I had probable cause. It took a while for her to trust me again.A few weeks after that, someone threw a party at their house and I brought *Teresa along, promising to stay with her because there was drinking there. We stayed together the first part of the half but then we seperated, how I don't remember but then I got drunk and the next day, I found myself naked in a bedroom with *Alexis. I knew what happened then and I also remembered having sex with her too. Worse, I had left *Teresa there by herself.It was all over the school about what I did but *Teresa knew because she witnessed me go into another bedroom and heard me and *Alexis screaming and shouting. She got a ride with someone from her class. She told me so when I went to confess to her and she broke up with me. *Alexis thought that we were together because of that night but I said no way. So she told me that might happen because we used no protection. I knew that was true because I remember not seeing any used condoms when I was dressing to leave that night.I saw *Teresa because both her friends and mine run in the same circles so it couldn't be helped that we saw each other often. We became slow friends but she made sure that we were never alone. At senior prom, *Alexis tried to get with me during that whole time since she failed at getting me as her date. I won the Prom King for the second time but with Teresa as my queen. We went to the hotel that night and slept together. We got back together and at graduation, she told that she was pregnant and we got married that summer. *Teresa and I attended the same college together and our freshman year went smoothly for us. Our baby was born after New Years and life was good. Then *Alexis transferred to the school.Nothing happened until basketball season started again and I went to other campuses with the team. Sometimes *Teresa could come with the baby or get someone to babysit but not alway. *Alexis, on the other hand, never failed to go to the celebration parties where *Teresa couldn't stay for long or didn't go at all because of the baby. A month after the season started and *Teresa wasn't there, *Alexis came up to me and I didn't turn her away.After that, we hooked up at the parties where *Teresa didn't go or we waited til she left. Then we planned hook-ups around the schedule. Despite everything she did to me and *Teresa, I loved having sex with *Alexis. I did not love her, that much I know now but I kept going back to her and I wanted more time with her.*Teresa went to study abroad in Europe her junior and senior year, leaving me with the baby after some convincing. When she left, *Alexis practically moved in the dorm and we openly dated each other despite people knowing me being married. Our relationship was mostly sexual and her sex style was different from *Teresa and I liked her style better and genuinely began to care for her as a lover and a woman. I thought that I was really in love in *Alexis and that *Teresa was getting in my way of being happy with her because she told me that she wanted children tha only belonged to me and her and she didn't want a reminder that I was with another woman. So I told *Teresa when she came back that I was leaving her and our baby for her. I divorced *Teresa and married *Alexis the next day. We were married for seven years and have four children. But then the attraction and the lust that I mistaken for love began to fade. Sex was the main thing that kept us together and then it became the only thing good of being married to her. Then when I needed her by my side, she abandoned me; something that Teresa would never do. That really opened my eyes to what I have given up.Recently I saw *Teresa when she was visiting her folks. I had divorced *Alexis a year before and only see her because of our kids. We did hook-up for sex after that but that ended. Even when I was with *Alexis, I missed *Teresa and our kid too. Looking back on what I done, I feel like a monster but I realized that *Teresa was the only woman I loved at that time. She doesn't trust me with her or our kid. How can I get her give me one more chance?
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broke up, condom, divorce, drunk, got back together, kissing, liar, moved in, period, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): I'm sorry dude, there seems to be a small chance of her forgiving you. If i were in your position,i would do everything i can to ask for her forgiveness and remain friends at least, any chance at rekindling your love is slim to none. If your going to try and get with another woman, who is a parent or not,tell that lady the truth from the start.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): Oh for god's sake, really??? Are you going to go through life thinking only of yourself? Work on improving yourself and learning to put others first, that would be the only chance you have of getting Theresa back, but a very miniscule chance it is.
I suggest you leave the poor girl alone, you have hurt her enough already. If you are with her, she gets to relive all the horrible things you did to her. If she however, finds happiness with someone else, she will get a fresh start and no bad memories to pop up unexpectedly to haunt her. It is selfish of you to persue this.
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