A
male
age
36-40,
*aogwan
writes:hey guys need some help!Ive bin with my gf for nearly 5months now, its bin great i love being with her we both feel so comfortable with each other! bt she is my first gf, she has been with 2 other guys n had a fling before, bt the relationships have onli been 2monthn n 2wks! both cheated on her,she hasnt really done much onli kissing n touching,bt i have been the first guy she has let finger her n i have broken her in, n im the first guy she given a oral sex to, for some reason her past keeps bothering me is it because shes done more then me??we experience beeing fully unclothed together for the first time! I have had intentions of being with other girls bt never manage to get them!so is that sort of the same thing?? i feel jealous that she has had a better life then me n i keep regretting not being wiv other girls, n regrettng things in my life! i have got exams atm n really wnt2do well in them! im at uni! its doing my head in her past i keep having visions of her kissing these guys! making me sick in the stomach! i know she hasnt done anything bad she is stil a virgin! i just want to accept this past thing n be happy n have a good life how do i do this????help someone! really didnt expect this to happen have been looking 4ward 2geting my first relationship!!
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her past, jealous, kissing, oral sex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): There is no fault in her having had other relationships before, her sentimental past is irrelevant! You say you have visions of her kissing her EX bfs in the past, these frustrations will eventually harm the present if you don't control them. This is possession, you can't own her past. The fact that you are jealous of her having had a better life does not sound like love. I think the most honest thing would be to analyze your feelings and be sure you want to continue this relationship, because you could harm her. She has not been unfaithful to you by having a past, but you are conceptually doing so by regretting not being with other girls. To have a good life... do eliminate these prejudices... and make sure you're honest about how you feel for her...
A
female
reader, Oldersister +, writes (28 April 2007):
 you cannot let her past bother you. she is with you now, her attentions are focused on you. unless you date girls years younger than you it will be very hard to find someone who has that lack of experience, especially as sex is happening younger and younger nowdays. you need to think about whether you can put this behind you. But if you can't, i would say you are going to have this problem with many girls. is it that you don't trust her maybe?
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