A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid..I have been with my girlfriend for about a month now, we were getting on really well, seeing eachother all the time. Now i feel like i have gone off her, getting bored and texting and im interested in other girls that i meet (in secret). We had sex last week, she was a virgin, so i feel that i cannot finish the relationship as it would be too cruel. what can i do? thank you, please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): If you dump her now then she'll feel cheap & taken advantage of.
But if you cheat on her or stay with her long after you're totally bored, she'll probably feel even worse.
I think you should try giving the relationship more of a shot. She obviously likes you a lot. And you're saying yourself that you're not very good at staying put in these matters. Stop seeing her a conquered territory and see if you really just like having her around. Try opening up a little and try getting closer to her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): It sounds like youre a little wreckless in judgement, that maybe you have an over reactive mind. You need to slow down and figure out why your doing what your doing and what is important. This attitude will probably get you in trouble one day, and STD's will probably be one of the many problems you'll have.You sound like an old friend I had, he did the same thing. I told him he was scattered brained, because he couldn't commit to one thing very long, let alone a female. I think about it now, he had the charm to meet women, but seemed scared when things slowed down because he couldn't perform, couldn't handle the more mental intimacy.Think it over.
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A
female
reader, lilemostar +, writes (23 March 2008):
 It would be more cruel for her to find out about the others girls and the relationship to have to end that way then you breaking up with her.Because she'd feel more cheated and cheap if she found about the other girls. I assume that she would feel as if the relationship between you two meant nothing because you were constantly going behind her back.It wouldnt be too cruel to end the relationship if you feel that is your only option as the relationship has only been going for a month, so in reality its not serious and its a short term thing. About her virginity. Possibly you two have rushed things and hence you feel it is the end of the relationship and are 'bored' of her. If this is the case, and I know this will be harsh, try starting again from the beginning and build up to sex so not to rush and to build a proper relationship. However, if you intend to break up with her after her losing her virginity then yes it would be cruel because I assume she thinks youre special enough to enable her to lose her flower to you but as I've said before not as cruel as her finding about your affairs. From personal experience, I got dumped four weeks after I lost my virginity because he cheated on me. Four months on, I couldnt care less.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): Hi Hunny
It states your age at the top 26-29 they must have got that wrong...You no when you get older that you will think maybe before you jump in at the deap end...Your obviously very young as from what you have written you have been seeing this girl for a month and now you have gone off her because you have been meeting in secret with other girls...So you really were not very interested in the first place, You new she was a virgin and you slept with her even though you were secretly seeing other girls....So you really new what you were doing and now your left with a huge conundrum, Hunny this little puzzle you have made for yourself you are going to have to face...You are going to have to be honest as honesty is the best policy...And try and learn from this as you do no this is going to hurt the young lady as she has waited a month almost before giving herself to you. So this hunny may be a learning experience which hopefully you will think very carefully about in the future..Its no good going out with someone out of pity hunny that is adding insult to injury, Plus you should really have not slept with her last week as it seems as soon as you did in came the loss of interest and you were out on the hunt again....Im not being mean hunny Im just saying think how you may feel one day when you do one day meet someone you really care about..If she were to do this to you how would you feel..Always put the boot on the other foot..always take into consideration how you would feel in another persons shoes, Well I wish you luck hunny as all you can do is be truthfull mistakes will be made in life and when we are young and inexperienced its life I do hope you can learn from this sweetheart and become a stronger and more thoughtfull young man one day TAKE CARE OF YOU HUNNY WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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