A
female
age
,
*atone
writes:Hi,My aunt told me in february that my dad molested her chest and asked if when he gave her a grown up kiss did she have any feelings. As my father has passed away, I cannot question him about it. This was before I was born and my mum had had a miscarriage and was depressed.I asked her didn't she feel worried for me. Also she had twin girls and used to go away weekends and leave them with my mum and dad for the weekend. I have a picture of her about 14 on a beach in a bikini posing and my dad took the photo. Since my father passed she stays with my mum, in my dads bed.Surely you wouldn't leave your children with an abuser. I wouldn't let my daughter near a neighbour that abused me. She blames the fact that she has had four husbands on my Dad saying she doesn't trust men.My grandfather wasn't a nice man. He was a bully with no affection at all. My aunt says she insticntively knew he wouldn't touch me, my daughter or her daughters and that she thinks he 'Had a thing for her'My mother knows we have fallen out, my aunt has now written to her and almost told her. My mum feels she had a wonderful 60 year marriage and dad was loved by everyone. I feel it would kill her if she knew the truth. Also my children don't know either. They adored their grandfather. Why did she have to tell me. I adored my father and he Never did anything untoward. I am so depressed by it all. She has ruined my dads memory.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ven  +, writes (19 October 2010):
I know it is hard to hear those kinds of things about the people you love. But you have to pluck up and decide that it is one of two things:
First, it may be a lie. I don't know your aunt so I don't know why this may be, but it certainly is possible. If it was a lie, you can smile and know that your father was a good man.
Or, it could be the truth. You may never know this for sure, but you did know your dad for a very long time, and you love him very much.
Truth or not, you know he was a good man who I'm sure made mistakes like the rest of us. Either way, it doesn't need to make him any less of a person in your memory.
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