A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend now for 5 years in total (though we have split up twice in this period for about a year each). When we first got together everything was amazing and we fell madly in love. After 2 years things started to go pear shaped and we split up. Then she wanted me back so we got back together. But then she was so difficult (argumentative, completely irrational, kind of bi-polar) that we split up again for a year. Then we got back together over a year ago cos she wanted me back and I wasn’t sure but it felt kind of good.The thing is – I don’t feel the same way anymore. We know each other really well, and I will always care for her. But I just don’t fancy her anymore (terrible to say, but it’s true). But I’m finding it very difficult to know whether to split up with her again. As I know she really doesn’t want to. And I don’t want to cause her more pain. She has said I am the love of her life, and I feel so responsible for her that I feel it is my duty to stay with her.So far so good (or not..) but anyway, I have recently developed feelings for some-one else (though wouldn’t act on it) – but it is making me think I should maybe end it with my girlfriend as I’m constantly thinking of this other girl and never my girlfriend. This isn’t fair on her, though breaking up isn’t fair on her either. I can’t stand seeing her upset.By the way, when we were split up, she didn’t see anybody else, she said she couldn’t fancy/like anyone else except me – so you can see this puts me in an awkward situation. I really want her to be happy. I wish she would move on from me, but I don’t know if she will. Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2011): Your love has faded and now you have an emotional attachment with another woman? Does the other woman know about your girl friend?You say your girl friend is bipolar: this is effectively treated and please know it is just a medical condition. People live proper lives while on the meds.Talk to her. Tell her your true feelings. End it once and for all and do not do the pull/push saga. If its over, its over. Sad but you need to be honest with her. She will hurt but she needs to deal with it.Are you only now out of love with her, now that there is another on the horizon? do you want to break up because of the other person OR because yuou two do not have a future together? Big difference!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 November 2011):
 These see-saw relationships are a pain in the a+s and take their toll on both of you...
Go your separate ways... and if, a year from now, you and she want to "try" resurrecting things again, try it then..
Good luck....
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