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I feel invisible and lonely...

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Question - (13 October 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *Bubbles writes:

I feel invisible and lonely? I have friends on Facebook but I really feel like I don't have anything in common with and don't know them that much; I just want to be their friends becuse they seem interesting. Some of the do play games with me but I feel like I am feeling confuse because I really don't fit in their crowd? I just want to make and have some friends. I know safety is important on Facebook too but I don't have a lot of my own friends.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010):

Most of us only have a very few "real friends" that we can trust regardless of the situation.

It's just reality.

Some people may deny this, but you don't know who your "real friends" are until the shit hits the fan...then their character is tested.

Unfortunately, most fail that test.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (13 October 2010):

DrPsych agony auntThere is big pressure on everyone these days to be ultra-popular. This is unfortunate because it is quality of friendship, not quantity that counts! The problem with facebook is that you can mistake a list of names on your profile as a reflection of your social skills. You need to switch off facebook and focus on making social contacts in the real world. This requires confidence on your part, and a lot of effort. Expect some rejections (everyone gets that) but try to find people through community classes, church groups, sports or hobbies that interest you. Enduring friendships require a common interest most of the time so these are good places to start looking.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (13 October 2010):

dirtball agony auntWhat's the question? You have question marks after statements, but that doesn't make them questions. Is this just about Facebook, or more generally in your life? Are you wondering how to make friends?

Making friends is actually pretty easy. Think about your interests. Are there any clubs, volunteer groups, sports, or extra curricular activities you could join? That's a great way to meet people who share a common interest.

I would suggest focusing on the real world instead of the virtual one.

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A female reader, FluffyPie United States +, writes (13 October 2010):

FluffyPie agony auntHow about making REAL friends? In real life that is. Internet only gives you the impression of a perfect world. The idea is to be able to make the difference between these worlds and separate necessary from unnecessary friendships/relationships. You have great expectations from your FB friends and you hit a wall when they don't meet your expectations, thus you get frustrated. Go out with people, have fun, enjoy life away from online socializing networks. Good luck!

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