A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Been together with my boyfriend for 3 years, I love him to bits but one thing makes me feel insecure and i'm honestly not sure why, was hoping for anyone's thoughts on this. His ex who is mother of his children, so he obviously loved her at some point is horrible, she is very manipulating, very fake e.g boob job, tummy tuck, fake hair, nails, tan, etc. She lies when it suits her to do with the children. I can't believe that he was with her for so long, or could have even been in love with someone so nasty, they were also fwb for a while after they broke up. She is the opposite of me completely which is why maybe I am feeling a bit insecure, I do sometimes wonder what he see in me if that is his type, which it is from comments he makes about people on tv etc. He is lovely to me, always tells me i'm beautiful and that he loves me, so why do I think like this about his ex? Thanks in advance for an advice.
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broke up, his ex, insecure, she lies Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2014): He went through hell, got older, his taste in women improved; and he found something much much better.
Fake hair, nails,and boobs? Doesn't sound like you're the one who should be insecure.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 January 2014):
 My guess is he tried "her" type and that didn't work out for him so well, so he changed tactics and looked for a different type of woman (you).
I think most people have more then 1 type of person they are attracted to and more then 1 type of people they mesh well with and even more then 1 type of people the can love.
My husband's ex and ex-wife are VERY different women from me (and each other) I honestly think as we mature we change our "taste" quite a bit.
Don't compare yourself to her, it's a WASTE of time. He is with you now, right? And things are good, right? So why make this NON-issue an issue?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (23 January 2014):
FYI many people are good at hiding their true selves until after you develop feelings for them. If the relationship started with them being terrible people it probably wouldn't get too far, would it?
Regarding her looks, maybe she is is "type", but you can be attracted to more than one type as well as people outside of that type, especially if their personality is to your liking.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (23 January 2014):
 “She is the opposite of me”
You think that could be the very reason he is with you and not her? If she was what he wanted in a woman, they would still be together…yes? So you have him for yourself, he is not trying to get back with her, but you take time to feel insecure regarding her. Interesting. If she is as bad as you say, then she should be the last thing on your mind. You spend more time compare yourself to others than appreciating what you have.
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