A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this may sound very stupid but i feel inferior to my boyfriend in terms of friends and social life. my boyfriend is the kind of guy everyone likes- he's friendly, funny and confident and can hang out with anyone in our grade. the thing is that i'm not. everyone knows me as the nice sweet girl but i am shy and i sometimes find it hard to socialise with people outside my close circle of friends.my boyfriend also has lots of girl friends, and he's always getting invites to every party held. its embarrassing for me because him and some of my friends often get invited and i don't. all of them then try and edge me in going with them and say that the invite extends to everyone, or that i was simply forgotten off the list. i find this so humiliating and i feel really left out but i don't know what i can do about it. i am friendly, i do go clubbing and drinking with many friends and everyone in the year knows me but it always seems like i'm not 'memorable' or 'fun' enough to be invited. i feel like my boyfriend knows this and when he asks me to go with him as i'm his girlfriend i feel really embarrassed.
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 Oh dear,
no, no, no...don't you ever feel inferior. I do understand how you feel though. Just realize that at the age group you are in, that so many young boys and girls never take things like this into consideration. And it does suck to be known as "the girlfriend", especially if these goofs don't even know your name.
Use this as a stepping stone to define yourself. As hard as it is right now, it is much more important in the long run that you be true to yourself. The hell with those people. I know it doesen't sound like good advice right now. But down the road you will understand that these parties, while the big social events of their time, are easily forgotten.
Now, as for your BF...He should be taking the stance when invited that this not only extends to you, but that he should stand behind you and not accept an invite that comes without you.
Just my opinion, but if your BF is aware of these type of issues(he better be, for he is your BF)that he will support you and help you to grow socially any way he can. That may be old fashioned, and it may not even apply anymore(hell what do I know, I am old) but it's common decency to stand behind you. If he isn't, you may have to nudge his ass with your foot to remind him what respect is.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (3 June 2009):
There are some people that I have to admit I know as "Dave's Girlfriend."
You know her, you like her, she is always there... but you haven't quite crossed the line into counting her as a friend.
So you just invite him to things knowing that he will bring her and all is well.
Don't take it personally. It's really not. But what you can do is find other people who invite YOU to parties because they don't know your boyfriend.
Also, try and spend a bit less time with your boyfriend when you are there. When a person is glued to their partner then you don't get to chat to them because they are simply one half of a couple.
When you go to parties then move away from him and talk to people about the stuff YOU are into, let them get to know you as an individual.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Legioness +, writes (3 June 2009):
 My philosophy- you only live once, make the most of it. Don't hold back, forget your worries and just do whatever as long as it makes you happy. In other words, just try and be chatty with his friends, get in with his group of friends and make some new friends of your own :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): Go out with him and enjoy teh fun with him and your friends! Dont sit alone at home after they've gone out. The more you get out, people will start to invite you to parties too maybe? In any case, go to the parties with your popular boyfriend and be proud! So what, a ton of people like him, and he likes YOU most of all. Why not brag a little and go to parties letting everyone know who exactly you are ;)
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