A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: How would you feel if you had a husband who constantly was on viber to some of his family members and friends and when I say constantly I mean sometimes a two hour convo to one friend and then to another; and two hour convos to his mother on a daily basis also. When we go out and about showing them on viber where he is going in the car, what food he is eating etc... This has gone on for 4 years now, and makes you feel ignored, not jealous but ignored and what's the point in being there. And yet when I receive a text message from a friend my husband will say oh is it such and such again! I just don't feel like I'm in a normal relationship at all.
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (17 February 2016):
Have you spoke to him and told him how this has made you feel? I think you just need to be more honest with him. Agree on a set time where you have all off his attention, but phones away at least once a day for a while and just talk to each other.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 February 2016):
I doesn't sound normal to me either. BUT I do think it's more common these days that some people live in some "online" fantasy - with the Instagram your breakfast - bitch about life in twitter and so forth.
It's been 4 years, he isn't going to change. So... what do you want to do?
Personally, for me, I would start having my own social life and not rely on him for anything really. See if he notices, and if he does put forth how his constant viber-use is driving a wedge in between you and that you quite honestly feel less important to him then the constant posting of irrelevant stuff.
My husband "LOVES" his facebook - he spends at least one hour when getting home chatting to people and being "snarky" over what some family members post.. 1 hour a day is acceptable for me. It's his way of unwind I suppose. He isn't on social media, skype, phone or texting constantly. Neither, am I.
I would ask him why he feels the needs to constantly update friends and family like that. Why it can't be done over lunch or dinner.
And then I would ask myself if this marriage is really what you both want. You have a husband who lives is some la-la land where he "thinks" he HAS to update people, that he is SO interesting that EVERYONE needs to know what he had for lunch etc. Really?
You need to to talk to him. And you need to decide whether you can live with it or not, because HE may not change at all.
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