A
male
age
36-40,
*ilentwatch
writes:Hi all,I cannot bear it anymore.. it has become obsessed and so engrossed..i found one of my new comer office girl sad.. i did my best to make her happy and talking. i was patiently listening and made her talk and entertained her in various ways.. it was not for anything but rather helping a paining heart.. nothing more.it is some time and seems she has overcome her problems and started spreading her charm.. she is not flirting sticks with marriage. but seems inside of her still there is some sadness. she was very comfortable with me and was speaking with me (me only it was my pride that whoever says ugly jokes she wont listen to)now my problem is i am becoming very unhappy and looks odd and grudge these daysit was so nice days earlier when we had wonderful period is no longer there. she looks happy and talks with everyone .enjoying.. she is very communicative and is very good listener has a good voice and think but good physique. she is so innocent that poeple can exploit herbut i am in agony and couldnt tell anyone around that i feel this inside. she understands that i am not feeling well. passionately stays with me but still could answer throw jokes and others what i feel is a kind of possessiveit is not that i want something from her.. but i want our relation to keep going.. just talking is enough..but i fear she might stop doing the same soon. it is because she is mingling with people who i consider against my principle.. (or say i am angry at them) it is just three of them. one who always stands near her another trying the same but a slower manner and the other through ugly jokes and pleasant faces. (sad that three of them are married and i am single). i dont own her but i feel i deserve more attention.the thing that pricks me now is whether i should tell her what i feel and still not demanding any actions from her..should i proceed please advice
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male
reader, silentwatch +, writes (31 August 2014):
silentwatch is verified as being by the original poster of the question@honey
it is not paying back.. it is just wishing to keep the relation longer
she owes me nothing? well for a debate i can accept that but not the other one
she still is my close friend and i am her best "work friend" no doubt. we still share good thoughts and communicate well.
It is just an emotional war and possessive feeling that if she start talking with some charming frauds she might fell for wrong ones..
i dont want to use her in anyway.. i want to remind her best friend.
but the inner war i mentioned causes me to be unpleasant. i could not smile.. :)
A
male
reader, silentwatch +, writes (31 August 2014):
silentwatch is verified as being by the original poster of the question@wiseowl..Firstly let me thank you for such a very good, sharp and strong point.. and that too without considering how can that affect someone.. it is not pleasing one.. still yes you had a very good point. i acceptbut seems things are not just like that. i didnt want anything that was true.. i was getting full attention and only when i feared it is reduced i realised i actually wanted to be close.no no you are a bit fast to tell that she is keeping distance. she is'nt .. we are still good friends and talkingi have no right to decide that i accept but being a senior i know what is good for a new comer and what not.. will you send your sister or close lady friends to a coward friend of you? especially when she is not aware of his bad side? just consider it that way.it is so sad you said she should be protected from ME? :(I do not fancy anything bad.. just want to te her best friendand i fear i might lose her that causes the problems..she too want to see me happy
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 August 2014):
You were nice to her when she first started working and now you want her to "pay back" for being nice? Am I understanding you right?
She OWES you nothing.
Maybe she DOESN'T WANT to be your "work" friend any more. And what do you do then? YOU RESPECT the woman and leave her alone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): You're not making any sense. You say you don't want anything, then talk about passionate thoughts and wanting more attention. She doesn't owe you anything, and she senses something about you that makes her want to keep her distance.
You have no right to decide who is appropriate for her to talk to, or who should be near her. You are the one who is feeling inappropriately. What you have going on in your head is all wrong. She can sense just by your expressions and demeanor that you get jealous when she is friendly with other people. If there were no strings attached to your talking with her when she was down, why does she owe you any attention? She didn't ask you for anything. You volunteered.
She figured you out and knows to stay out of your reach. I think she would do the same to any man coming-on to her. She knows she is a married-woman, and it isn't up to you to remind her. If you cannot control your feelings and behave yourself, I think she needs to be protected from YOU.
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