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male
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anonymous
writes: My fiance and I live on other sides of the world. We both ended up cheating on each other and she ended up losing her virginity.I dont deserve nor am proud to be upset about her cheating on me. I did deserve it. Im mostly hurt because she gave her first time to someone else. I find it as a gift that was opened by someone else. She has never brought it up and forgave me for what I did and let it go. Im still struggling. I hate that Im still hurt. I dont tell her that I still hurt because she doesnt deserve to be reminded of it anymore. Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy fiance and I are getting married as soon as her visa is accepted and I fly her to the US. We are very much in love and just cant wait to be together. Im always daydreaming of doing normal everyday things with her and being romantic with her.I couldnt afford to see her for Christmas and she said she gave her virginity away because she thought we wouldnt be together and lost faith in me and didnt care about her virginity anymore. I blame myself and have a hard time forgiving myself for it. I have forgaven her though. There are only few times I cant help to imagine her and that guy. I think only time can get rid of the problem I have. Plus since I cant be with her, all I can do is imagine and daydream. Once she is here with me, I will be focused on her and being with and taking care of her. I do worry our first night will be hard for me, but I wont know til that comes.I dont talk to her about such things, because she doesnt deserve to have the past dug up again. She will only hate herself and I dont blame her for losing faith in me. I said I was going there and just couldnt come up with the money to so I really let her down.Since I do think about her and that guy sometimes, does that mean I havent forgaven her? Am I wrong that only time will heal and her being here will help me move on?Thanks for your responses
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female
reader, Maloletka +, writes (14 February 2006):
 Sometimes mistakes happpens BUT we have to deal with them for the rest of our life!!! I always questioned my self, why person who is not virgin would get a virgint girl... Everyone deserves to have TO have only one, and to be the ONE FOR HER/HIM!!!
I think you should just talk about your problem to her, and ask her to help you get out of this situation... Or, if you cant talk to her about this, just forgive her... You probably wanted to FORGET what she did, BUT you never FORGIVE HER!!! If you love her, forgive her and make a plans for the future life together... I believe that good relationships are based on family... If she is still just a fiance, make another move, MARRY her... Show her your love!!! I think she will realize that she was wrong, and will be more thankful and more in love with you as ever before... You will be more close together!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
WOuld be happy to hear from you that you get over situation and will live happily ever after....
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate the answers. You both are right. I didnt deserve to be her first. And Im not angry with her anymore. Im just getting over the pain that I have and feel guilty for even having pain. She really loves me and I know she hasnt been with anyone else after. As I have been faithful to her since what happened. Thank you Baby girl for your answer. You really made me see what I should do and how it must be for her.
Thanks again for your answers =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2006): why should she wait for her first time to be with you? when you cheated on her with someone else and your obviously not a virgin yourself? think about this question: Why didn't you save yourself for her? and then u will understand why she didnt save herself for you. Or do you think its different cos your a man and she a woman?
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