A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years; we are in our late 20's. We both have our own condos and for the past year we have been talking about him renting his condo out and moving in with me. He always has an excuse as to why he hasn't rented his condo yet (he needs to fix things, he needs insurance, etc.) He stays at my house almost every night and the reason is because I have 2 small kids from my first marriage and it's more convenient for me. He doesn't financially help me, which never really bothered me since we both have our own mortgages. Here's my problem, he recently rented out one of his bedrooms to a female coworker. He says the reason is because he has some debt that he needs to pay off and since he has not rented his whole condo yet he'll help her out and collect $500. He says he can't give me half of that money because he really needs it. I told him it's not fair he collects money for his condo, stays with me every night and doesn't give me any money. So I packed up all his stuff and told him to stay home. I feel like he only cares about his finances. I have been trying not to let the situation bother me, but every time I see him I feel so hurt and a little jealous. Am I over reacting? What should I do?
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female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (1 December 2007):
 Your not over reacting and to me you made a good choice by telling him to leave. You can't let him live with you for free. In a relationship everything should be equal. 1/2 and 1/2 makes a whole. If he isnt helping you out now, can you imagine when you both take it to the next step by living with eachother? He is too dependent on you and it seems t me a little more like that he is with you for his own financial needs. You already have 2 kids to support and be worried about. You dont need another person to stack up on you.You deserve better and someone who you can depend on for a time of need.
A
female
reader, fairygurl  +, writes (1 December 2007):
hi,
I think your definitely right to be angry and pack his stuff. u have two small kids, he should at least help u out finacially i know there from ur previous marriage but when he took u on as a irlfriend he took them on too! my friends boyfriend lives in her house, pays no bills, no rent, gives her no money for food, all because she has a kid from previous relationship and he thinks why should i have to pay half to feed ur kid??? so unfair i think.... some men can be so stingy with money it annoys me... i think u should tell him hes gonna have to pay half finacially if yer goin to work as a couple..
good luck :)
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A
male
reader, Snicklefritz +, writes (1 December 2007):
If you are not married, and still dating why should he help you out financially? Do you pay part of his electric bill? Does he pay your gas bill? He spends the night because he likes you. And you let him. Not because he is a sugar daddy. Take the kids to his place for a sleepover sometime. Im sure its just more comfortable for everyone to stay at your place. Im older now and I personally dont like to spend the night somewhere I dont consider home.
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