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female
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anonymous
writes: If a guy tells you that he loves you and he never wants to see you and him break up but then out of the blue he turns around and says that he doesnt love you and he doesnt want a girlfriend or a relationship but he still wants to stay friends does he really mean what he said to me? Cuz i felt and knew and still know that he loves me but i think he is fighting himself on the issue. Im not sure i just need help knowing if what i was feeling and still feel is just fooling me. I mean i have a strong feeling that he meant what he said to me and i could see it in his eyes and feel it to. Am i just fooling myself? And i also have a strong feeling that its not over for us. We're not friends but i see him every once in awhile. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2011): Hey, I just want to say that me and my ex broke up 11 months ago and I was in the same position as your ex. I didn't want him back and I told him that. But inside I knew I was still in love with him. Now 11 months later I still love him and haven't spoken to him and last time he tried talking to me was 9 months ago. All I have done is ignore him completely. I really miss him but still can't go back to him. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that some people just like being alone even if it hurts them not to be with the one they love.
Maybe he is just not ready to be in a relationship with someone he cares so much about yet. He might need more time, maybe more than you can handle, but this is just how I am and has nothing to do with how your ex is or might be,but just throwing an opinion from the bottom of my heart.
hope everything works out for the best.
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (13 November 2006):
 NO CONTACT!!! Let him make up his mind. GIve him time and space. The worst that can happen is he will never call you again and the best is he will come back. He has to know exactly how it feels to have you out of his life and he can't do that thinking he can come back anytime. Silence is a killer. If he doesn't know what you are thinking then it will eat him up. He can't flip flop back and forth with your feelings. Take a stand and stick with it. Good Luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006): Hey Darlin..well all I can really do is give you my opinion and personal experience and you can make what you want of it. I've been with my fiance for over five years(I'm only 21). And we had a really rough time about two years ago and he just out of nowhere broke up with me and told me he didnt love me or want anything to do with me..So naturally I was devestated..I cried for months, couldnt sleep..all that..And then one day almost four months later, he just called me and we started talking again. I was really wary about taking him back, so I made him wait..Kinda like I made him prove himself..He finally confessed that he'd broken up with me because a.) we were both young and in a realationship way too serious for people our age..and b.)he got freaked out cause (in general) guys like to feel like they're in total control..but when you love someone, you're never in control of the way you feel-the person you love is.This may not make a whole lot of sense but this is the point I'm trying to get to..People do extremely rash things sometimes. And at times, it may seem like it's just to be cruel or just to intentionally hurt you..But pretty often, there's an actual reason behind their actions-Usually an underlying insecurity or fear that they aren't ready to admit to..So while it's possible that this guy meant the mean things he said to you, I'd say there's more to it that he's willing to tell you about right now..And TRUST ME..it's not worth worrying about! Not even if you're insanely in love like I was!Love has a way of overcoming even the biggest obstacles to prove itself..and I know this is frustrating but the only way to really know if he meant the things he said, is to wait..he'll come crawling back at some point or another and you'll have your chance to find things out..But until then, do yourself a HUGE favor and don't stress about it!Things will work out for the best!!
-MiNdY
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