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I feel he is not really interested in me but surely he would bother wasting his time like that!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 June 2014) 14 Answers - (Newest, 12 June 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi been dating a guy for 5 weeks now we've kissed and been intimate but i don't really think hes that interested in me.....we met on a dating website but he lives locally to me sand id rather he just said if he doesn't think it will go anywhere....surely he doesn't want to waste his time either??

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (12 June 2014):

sugarplum786 agony auntYou put out sex too early. Try to hold back and see if he sticks around and also become more interested.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (11 June 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI love these two phrases:

"...we both agreed from the start we wanted to be more than fuck buddies...." and,

"...how long should i give it before we are officially a couple??"

You know WHY he's "vague"??.... because of Number 2!!!!! You shouldn't "give it" UNTIL and UNLESS you are a couple. Do you not understand that we guys will say and do most-ANYTHING to get a woman to remove her clothes???? ... as long as WE don't have to make any committment..... and be anything more than a whore-dog.... as long as we get what we want????

Good luck...

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A male reader, methuselah United Kingdom +, writes (11 June 2014):

Hi,

Maybe, the sex started too quickly and he doesn't see you as a long term potential. I don't know why, but a girl I met initiated sex on the 2nd date and for me, it sort of destroyed my image of her as a potential wife/girlfriend.

Maybe you slept with him too quickly. Maybe, each to his own.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (11 June 2014):

It's funny that you say he's vague because after reading your question I was kind of scratching my head. Some people like to take things slow. It's good for the long term health of the relationship and since he's already indicated he's not interested in being your fuck buddy you should allow a little more time before you become concerned about his actions not matching his words.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

We think text throughout the day and Skype a couple of times a week.....work and children dictate when we see each other as I don't want to introduce him until we are a couple for obvious reasons but we see each other for dates a couple of times a week for coffee and chats mainly

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2014):

You need to be the one to end it. As long as he's getting some sex he will keep being vague until something better comes along and maybe not even then.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntSince you two jumped the gun on sex, I'd say if he is being vague he isn't sure or he is trying to drag it out so he can continue to have this semi sexual relationship without being committed. YOU have to decide for you how long you are willing to wait to be "official". Personally I'd say if he is still unsure after 3 months... he isn't interested in a relationship past what you two got atm.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh no we don't have sex everytime and we both agreed from the start we wanted to be more than fuck buddies and I'm happy with how it is but how long should i give it before we are officially a couple?? Or its not going to go anywhere?? Hes very vague

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (11 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntSo when you DO see each other is it to have sex? Or do you two go out on actual dates?

Do you talk when you don't see each other, like over the phone,text ?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2014):

You've kissed and been intimate. Don't have to be interested in the woman to keep wanting to get that off her.

It's not a waste of time if you can keep getting sexy fun and have nothing better to do.

I've dated women I had no interest in for ages because I was bored, liked the sex and they kept giving it to me. They were a step up from masturbation.

Of course if they'd bothered to ask me my intentions I would have gladly told them but some women are either too afraid of the conversation or assume I'm on the same page without finding out. Not my problem really.

Just talk to him, tell him how you feel and see what he says. You could be wrong about his level of interest too.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (11 June 2014):

Well 5 weeks is not a great lenght of time maybe he likes to take things at a slow pace.However it would be a good idea to have a chat with him.During the chat just ask him is this just a casual friendship and then decide from there .Its always better to make sure of the situation rather then being sorry. Best Luck NORA B.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (11 June 2014):

Well 5 weeks is not a great lenght of time maybe he likes to take things at a slow pace.However it would be a good idea to have a chat with him.During the chat just ask him is this just a casual friendship and then decide from there .Its always better to make sure of the situation rather then being sorry. Best Luck NORA B.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (11 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntIf you have been intimate quite quickly after meeting, it may be that he has already had what he wanted.

Mark

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2014):

Sorry to say it but you have made the error of sleeping with them too quickly.

Future tip for everyone: People who put it on a plate don't come across as attractive. I also find people who give themselves away emotionally aswell as physically aren't very attractive.

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