A
female
age
30-35,
*ou_835
writes:Hi I've got a problem but I don't know if its my own doing and I should just accept it or he's using what happened to punish me. I've been going out with a guy for 3yrs we were engaged and even talked about children but I've got trust issues from early in the relationship as he has cheated a few times we bickered alot and we moved in together. It went well but I found a girl hair flower and earrings in his stuff and I flipped and threw him out I did try for counselling to work on our issues but he refused and we broke up. Weve since been 'seeing' each other as in sleeping together and he says were working on our issues but I barely see him and he only comes round for sex hes already said he wont be with me over xmas new years and valentines which is about 4months and he says we wont have children and he cant see us being married..this is destroying me as I really though he was the one ive told him but he still refuses counselling and I cant help feeling hes just using me and not making any effort with us. I want to be with him but I'm fed up with him not making any desicions but i can't really move on as i'm still hoping we'll work it out. please help!!
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female
reader, toomuch stress  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 I know this hurts to hear, but he is using you. Sometimes we try to convince ourselves differently from what is so painfully obvious to us because we don't want to believe it. The fact that he cheated not once, but multiple times is hard enough to get over but the big RED FLAG for me is that he will not try to work on your relationship, as you suggested counseling. You are going to have to face the fact that he is using you and you either need to realize that there is NO possibility of an actual relationship in the future and continue to do what your doing while getting hurt, or the better option: Move on! I know, i know, easier said than done right?
Here are some helpful tips: break all ties, do not let him come over, not even once or that will bring you right back to where you started and you don't need that. Don't even answer his phone calls or texts (he doesn't derseve an explanation.) He will most likely stop trying to contact you pretty fast if you aren't being something he can obtain easily. Tip 2: Keep yourself busy. Be surrounded by people that are close to you. Take on extra hours at work. Realize that you have an okay life without him.
Do this for yourself, you deserve better.
A
female
reader, Callmewifey +, writes (30 September 2010):
 NO YOUR WORTH! I'm gonna keep it real you at this time he is using you. You have two options 1. Leave him alone and find a man that values your worth and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated or 2. Don't have sex with him anymore and don't call him and see if he'll come crawling back to be with you. Keep in mind be wise and don't waste to much time on him.
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