A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I met a guy over a dating site and it was my first ever date , I always wanted a serious relationship and he said he wished for the same...he was really good to me and it was love at first sight for me, I was really serious about him,,as days passed by I felt he ignored me, he wouldn't talk or text for days and suddenly he got back to me and I did have a physical relationship with him for not more than 4 days...he again went astray and I was depressed.he was always active and online on Facebook and watsapp but wasn't with me,he would only reply once for my hundreds of messeges.I was really into my studies so I got busy and he again got back to me and all he wanted was to sleep with me ,and because I couldn't make up my mind to be physically involved without an emotional connection, he blocked me on all possible ways I feel guilty now Im really depressed .. please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2016): Very much agree with the other three answers you've already received. It ISN'T you!
Go to you tube and search for "Elliot Scott". He is an amazing dating coach and will explain all about the male psyche and how to find a good one and form a real relationship. He's amazing!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2016): You've learned a valuable lesson. Stop giving all the power to make decisions to the guy. Don't give-in to desperation and neediness. Preserve your dignity and choose according to what you need in a man. If you don't see it, move on.
You must turn a negative into a positive; because all mistakes are truly lessons. You can pout and feel sorry for yourself, or give yourself credit for learning something more about the wrong type of guy; and what you should lookout for as a clear warning. You also got some idea of what sex is like, and what you really want from it.
Now you are truly a woman, and you've survived the mistake. Now that you're on the other side of it, you move on and avoid allowing guys to seduce you into bed. Don't show them how desperate you are for a boyfriend; by giving them what they want too soon and too easily. You've really done nothing wrong, accept allow this to affect you in a negative way. It's part of the dating game. If you don't watch out, you'll get used, or get your heart broken.
He is out of your life by self-elimination. That's the best way to get rid of a jerk.
You know better now, so get over it.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (26 July 2016):
 If you believe in love at first sight, you will be used. It's never love at first sight because you only see what's on the outside, which isn't love; it's attraction.
Make your boundaries and stick to them - if a guy is just going to use you, let him go. He's not worth the trouble.
A guy who likes you will date you and wait for you.
Talk to others now and try not to fall so hard so fast.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 July 2016):
 You can't change the past OP.
So feeling guilty, won't help.
What you might want to consider is this. THIS man was NOT a good guy, he pursued you long enough to bed you and then he cut you off. What kind of guy does that? Specially when he claims he is looking for a serious relationship.
LEARN from this OP. GET to know a guy BEFORE being intimate. Don't be so naive in the future and believe everything that comes out of a guy's mouth.
JUST because a guys SAYS he wants a serious relationship doesn't mean he is telling the truth... OR that he wants a serious relationship WITH you.
This was not a nice way to learn this lesson, but instead of beating yourself up, brush yourself off and know THIS was not your fault or because you aren't good enough or this or that enough. It happened because he is a USER. Someone who is GOOD at finding "easy targets" and taking advantage.
Chin up.
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