A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I feel a lot of guilt when it comes to being pleasured during sex. It's like I feel bad when they're doing something to me and I'm not doing anything to them, even though my partner enjoys giving me pleasure. We've chatted about this and come to the conclusion that because of abuse when I was young and people using me for sex since then, I simply see sex as a way I can please others and never learnt how making love can be enjoyable and fulfilling for me too.How do I overcome this feeling of guilt at gaining pleasure from sex and stop making sex all about others? I can't relax and so can't have an orgasm whilst with a partner. It's even starting to cause problems in my 'personal sex life'.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (16 January 2007):
 If it's not helping talking to your boyfriend I would consider seeing a counsellor to talk it out with them. Sex can be amazing but after your past experiences it's no wonder that you're not as relaxed as you should be.
CD
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