A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for little over a year. He is 35 and I am 30. He has 2 kids and I have 2 kids. I just recently found out that I am pregnant. He wants me to have an abortion but I do not want to. I have had an abortion before and I have never gotten over it.I still feel guilty about it. As well as my religious beliefs are against abortions. My salary is unstable but his salary is. We do not live together. I feel so guilty but i really do not want an abortion. What should I do? How should i say this to him without him hating me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): I appreciate both responses and I am not offended by any of it. I need honest and different views. The 2 children that I have are completely taken care of financially by their father. Yes I know that I did fall down on another biblical law which is sex before marriage and this has been something that I have been working on and praying God's strength to help me in this area. I am not claiming that I am perfect but I don't wont to make two wrongs. Also it is not just my religious beliefs that is deterring me, it is also my past experience that has me traumatized. Yes I agree I may be stretched thin and I am aware that a few sacrifices will have to be made. I do not feel that he will not support this child if I go ahead. I am sure that he will but I guess he is just not ready to do so at this time. I just don't want him to despise the child or be bitter. I am aware that religious laws are there to protect us and others and I could not agree with you more. However it was a mistake on my part. I did not follow Gods way so this is a where I am. He was aware that i was not on birth control because I was transitioning from one to another. Again thanks for your honest opinions.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 January 2011):
 Just sit him down and talk to him, face to face. Explain that you have had an abortion in the past and have never gotten over it, and that you dont believe in abortion as it goes against your beliefs. If you explain your reasons, and just be honest with you - then he cannot hate you.
Tell him that you know it is against his wishes to keep the child so you dont expect anything from him, but you hope that he wants to be involved in this child's life.
He cannot force you to have an abortion so if you want to keep it, then keep it. But be aware that he does not want the baby, so you cannot expect him to be involved in this child's life and you are doing this on your own. If you make the decision alone - then you choose to raise the child on your own. If he decides to step up and be a father - then great. But if he does not want any part of it, then that too is fair enough because you cannot force him to do something against his wishes when he has made his thoughts very clear.
But I think if you explain your reasons and just be honest with him about your experience in the past - then he cannot hate you for that. It is a shame you want different things here, but he should have thought of that before he had sex with you and got you pregnant. He cannot hate you for having an opinion - if this is what you believe in then no-one can hate you for your beliefs.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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