A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry if this sounds whiny, but I think I need some advice from some non judgemental people. Basically, to say my life hasn't turned out how I imagined it is an understatement. I've done nothing with it literally. I don't know why, but when I was young and naive I for some reason believed I'd be someone important and well known one day and dreamed of people listening to me. But, I'm a nobody, I've done nothing that my kids could be proud of. People ignore me and have no interest in anything I've got to say. I just coasted through school and was no good at anything. People always advise me to find a path and do something I'm good at but that's the problem I've never been good at anything. The only time I've ever felt important in my life is when I was pregnant because I felt responsible for a life growing inside me. So I had one baby after another because of this! I have four children. They are the reason I'm still here to be honest. I just feel there is nothing more to me than producing babies. This sounds silly, but I don't have Facebook or any other social media because I feel like why on earth would anyone want to talk to me or see anything I put up. And I know how ridiculous this is, but my sister wanted me to join her to a meet and greet of a famous boy band we've always loved, but I wouldn't go because I felt they would never talk to me they might laugh at me. I guess the reason I'm on here is to ask, what can I do to get out of this? I feel stuck, as if all my life I've been waiting for something amazing to happen and it just hasn't. I know I am the only person who can change this and it's my responsibility and no one else's but it is so hard to know what you're purpose is when your not good at anything, and people don't notice you. I feel like my kids are my only reason for living and that is pathetic and I also feel incredibly guilty because I know there are people out there with much harder lives than me so I shouldn't be complaining.
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (1 February 2017):
 Honestly I think we all feel like this from time to time. But you need to start seeing you are still young and have your life ahead off you. I think you need to talk to a therapist though, it does sound like you are suffering from depression and anxiety, I would recommend professional help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2017): Correction: birth-control prescription, not subscription! Sorry!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2017): Judging by your age, your four children are very small. You may need to get a full medical-examination; to be certain that you are not suffering from postpartum depression.
If you have taken on a new birth-control subscription; check with your doctor on its side-effects. I tend to be thorough and read between the lines. I sense something here.
Sweetheart, we all have these big plans when we're younger; and we certainly should set some goals in order to have some course to follow through life. All dreams don't come true; because sometimes destiny and circumstances may delay our purpose, and even redirect or reset our course. There is not one single individual who will read your post; who cannot say they do not, or have not felt exactly the way you do. Even if they are successful at what they're doing at the present. You can work hard all your life, and feel as though you've accomplished very little.
There may be something stirring inside of you that pushed you to write this post. I would suggest signing up for an online course to work towards a college degree. Assuming you drifted through high school. You don't have the luxury of drifting through college, it's too demanding academically; if you want to graduate. If you did complete college; that was an accomplishment. Give yourself credit.
Laziness or lack of ambition normally comes from low self-esteem and having little to no self-confidence. Your post indicates you are very hard on yourself; but much of this could be hormonal, if you've had a baby in the last year and a half or so. The weather or climate also makes us gloomy and feel sorry for ourselves.
Being important or admired isn't always what it's cracked-up to be. There are heavy burdens and high expectations to meet; which you can't always live-up to. You're constantly scrutinized; and your mistakes seem bigger, because people expect so much of you. When you do fail or after large success, the fall is quite detrimental for some people.
Once you grow older, you'll become wiser. Youth doesn't always give you a full-perspective or the whole picture. Sometimes you glow with goodness and kindness, but being a humble person you don't realize how much of a good impression you actually make on people. They can only say kind words about you; but you're too busy sulking or belittling yourself, you've tuned them out.
All too often people fail to recognize the significance of being caring, kind, generous, and humane. It's disappearing from society, and people like that are like rare jewels.
Please don't have anymore children for awhile. You've got a handful, and that may just be weighing you down from lack of sleep and exhaustion. Exhaustion does make you feel low and depressed; and you feel no matter how hard you work, you see little result or reward. Under-appreciated. I feel you!
Having four small children in your early twenties doesn't leave a lot of room or time to seek a career; so you may look into jobs you can work from home. Until they are at an age for pre-school or school; and then you may take-on part-time employment. To make yourself feel useful apart from birthing children. When you're cutoff from the outside world, at home with your kids around the clock; the disconnection leaves your brain too much time to beat you up with self-doubt or depressing thoughts.
Somehow I sense someone said something to you that hurt your feelings, this isn't all just coming from some sudden self-realization. Some of this comes from what was said by someone being mean to you.
I do believe online courses will give you a challenge and you'll start considering a career-path and a purpose.
If you have a spiritual-faith, seek counsel from your clergy leadership for spiritual-enlightenment. Sometimes that will also lead you to your purpose and destiny. Life is complex and it requires more of us than just fame, vanity, and success.
You have a huge responsibility on your hands in raising and guiding future leaders, teachers, and contributors to our society. Passing on the best within you for them to take out into the world. You are a mother. One of the hardest jobs you'll ever have, no matter what else you may decide to do.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (31 January 2017):
 I'm sorry you feel this way. The good news is most of us do, at some point, and there is a way out.First of all, please don't have any more babies. I'm sure you adore your children, but it's really sad and disappointing that someone so young has so many children already. The reason why is upsetting too. You are more than a mother. You are a human being with their own life to live.Don't think about being someone well-known, but you can definitely be important. Find a job you like. Don't be a stay-at-home mum because, while some enjoy it, you still need to enrich your life and achieve things yourself, instead of just watching your kids' milestones.A part-time job. Do some volunteering once a week/month. I know it'll be hard with kids, but you need to do thing to improve your life, so you can enjoy yourself and be a better mother (you're not a bad one, but you can always improve).Another thing you can do is start a hobby at home, maybe one you can do alone and with your kids.You're no good to anybody, yourself or your kids, until you achieve small things for yourself. You can do this, but you can't if you have more babies. You are not a baby factory - you are a young mother who needs to drive her life too.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 January 2017):
 I know how you feel. You're not the only one who feels this way. Your life is lacking direction and purpose, and that leaves one feeling this way. I believe it is because you are the type of person you are, someone who thinks deep thoughts and is a searcher for deeper meaning. This can be a blessing and a curse. It means you feel so alone and so lost when you have no purpose. Like a tool no one has figured out how to use just yet, and so you start to think that there will never be any use for you.
The blessing is that you inhabit special qualities that just take time to come to use. The things you learn now, the thoughts you think, they will all come to good use later on. You still have a long way to go before your life has ended. You do not know what lies ahead. When you were a child you might have sensed you were going to play an important part, and that might be true. But you do not know when in life this will happen, and going through the experiences you go through now might just be the thing you need to go through, in order to be able to help others later on and fulfill your purpose.
I turned to God, when I wondered what my purpose was. I just took one day at a time, and thought to myself that if there is a plan and a purpose, then it would reveal itself to me in time. So one day at a time, until that purpose is revealed. And no, I wasn't a Christian back then when I turned to God. I was more just sending out a prayer and a hope and then seeing what came back. Now, 15 years later, I am filled with much more sense of purpose. I am still searching, but my mind is more at rest, because my purpose is being shown to my little by little. I helped save a life two years ago, which was only possible because of my exact life experience. This lead me to think that God will put me in the places and circumstances where my experience and life knowledge is needed. I believe this is true for all humans. Then aside from this I have other purposes, which I am only now starting to see the true importance of.
I know you will find your purpose as well. With or without God, you will find it. Just take one day at a time, and be patient. It will reveal itself. You don't need to be the best at anything at all, you just need to be you, the unique person you are, and you will matter the most when your purpose is revealed to you.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (31 January 2017):
 Have a big HUG. Just because you are special.
I am nearly 3 times your age and I still feel like you do sometimes! Life very seldom turns out as planned. Even for those who know what they want and do it, there is no guarantee of fulfilment or happiness at the other end. Most of us wander through life, just going where it takes us. there is nothing wrong with that, as long as you don't make an issue of it.
While reading your post, the first thing which sprang to mind was the saying, which I am sure you must have heard at some point: "it's nice to be important but more important to be nice".
But you see, you ARE important already. To your children, you are their world. You are the most important person they know and you have the most important job: raising them as good people.
You don't mention a partner. Do you have one? Is he not supportive?
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