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I feel embarassed that I'm still a virgin

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2013)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm a senior in college and still a virgin. It's not for religious reasons so much (although I am a faithful person), but I've always felt you should lose your virginity to someone you really love and have a future with. I've had several serious relationships but none that I've had sex with.

I sometimes wonder if it's worth waiting for the right one. I'm not necessarily waiting until marriage; just want it to be the right guy.

I worry that if I end up with a more experienced guy that I won't be good enough. Also, how do guys feel about virgins? I'm not weird or anything (I know being a virgin at my age isn't the norm) but I don't want the guy to be scared or weirded out by it.

I just hope sex is everything it's cracked up to be or I'll be in for a major let down!

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A female reader, marypoppin Canada +, writes (24 January 2013):

No need to rush into sex if you feel uncomfortable or you feel that you need to lose your virginity. There's a big fuss when it comes to losing your virginity that we forget what a great thing sex is when you have it with someone you love.

You're still young, no need to rush into things. Enjoy your 20's.

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A male reader, JB. United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2013):

Don't rush into sex there is no need. Just do it when you feel comfortable and ready with the right person. A lot of people see sex as a big deal before they do it and then after you don't see it as something so big anymore. It is great but it isn't something that needs to be rushed in. From my experience sex with someone you care about and are comfortable with is a lot better than just some random fling for the sake of getting laid.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (23 January 2013):

I agree with Tisha, seeing as how women are the submissive sex (in bed) experience is certainly less important than enthusiasm and an open mind.

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A female reader, jadedpearl United States +, writes (23 January 2013):

jadedpearl agony auntGood for you. I am 21 lost my virginity at 17 and trust me....it really is not everything it is cracked up to be! i don't even enjoy it honestly!!

i think women in their 30s and beyond is when sex actually starts "feeling" good. i don't know...maybe it's just me, i know i wish i had waited like you. i've got friends who are still virgins it is really no big deal. i dont have sex unless i am with someone serious and he is committed...i never engage in casual sex.

when i do have sex though i do it to feel a sense of "closeness" with that other person if that makes sense not because it feels so good which is a bunch of crap because it doesnt! i was in for a major let down and i wish i had waited until i had truly fallen in love!!!

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A female reader, DiamondEyes00 United States +, writes (23 January 2013):

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 25. In fact, even though I have dated a good portion of my life prior, I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 24 and that was the guy I lost my virginity to. He was my first boyfriend and my first love. We were together almost 2 years and even though we're not together now, I don't regret it. I was lucky to lose it to the first man I ever loved and that is what made it so special for me.

I absolutely believe you should wait for the right guy. I personally believe that what makes sex so great and so passionate is the feelings and the connection you have with the person you are doing it with. Without that, it is empty and meaningless and will lose it's novelty very quickly.

A guy who has common sense will know that a virgin will not be good at sex initially. That's what "practice" is for and I'm sure any guy would enjoy that "practice," especially if it's a guy who loves you. The first time you have sex is special because it's the first time, you become physically the most intimate you can get and hopefully because you are sharing that experience with someone who means the world to you, but I can tell you right now, it's definitely not the best sex you will have.

The best sex you'll have will be later down the line when you're not so nervous, when you've had more practice and when you become even closer and comfortable with your partner. The more intimate you are with your partner before you have sex, the more intimate that act will be when you finally do it.

Others may disagree with me, but coming from someone who I think shares your viewpoint and has gone through it, you have no reason to be embarrassed that you're still a virgin. Hold out for someone that matters to you.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (23 January 2013):

Tisha-1 agony auntHave sex when you are ready. As far as experience goes, I think it's pretty safe to say that a real man would be really, really happy with an enthusiastic partner.

You won't be 'good enough' (whatever that means) if you have decided to dislike the whole thing.

Be happy, enjoy the mutual exploration and have fun!

Oh, and if you are really worried, learn how to give yourself an orgasm and you'll be out ahead of the worry game, okay?

Good luck!

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